Feeling the Love

Chapter Two

Eric

I lay down in my bed, staring up a the ceiling. Matt was on a mattress on the floor next to my bed. Moonlight flooded in through the windows. His dark skin stood out against the white sheets. I rolled onto my side.

"Hey Matt," I whisper-shouted, "are you still awake?"

"No."

"I can't sleep."

"Well I can. So shut up."

"Come on, Matt. I just need to talk to someone."

"Fine, why can't you get to sleep?"

"I dunno, I think I'm excited to finally go back to school."

Matt sat up in his mattress. "Why would you be excited?"

"I'll finally have dancing space again, now that we're allowed to use the dance studios whenever we want."

"Oh, I thought you wanted to get back so you can see Aliah."

I sat up in my bed. "Aliah? I'm over her. She didn't like me anyway."

"Like you would know, you never even talked to her."

"What about you? Aren't you excited to see your Lachlan?" I teased.

    "Okay, now you need to shut up."

    "Why? It's not like he doesn't like you."

    "Yeah but it's been two months since we last saw each other. He might not anymore."

    "Nah. I reckon he'll still like you." We sat in silence for a while before Matt broke it.

    "Is that all your excited about? Dancing space?"

    "Well, I'm excited about school in general. You know getting back to life. Learning stuff, doing even more than last year."

Matt snorted.

    "What?"

    "You're such a nerd. I really thought you'd be more excited about the new kids."

    "New kids? There's new kids coming to Hollocrest?"

    "Uh, yeah! Don't you read Julia's texts?"

    "How many?"

He frowned. "Texts?"

    "No, new kids. How many?"

    "Oh, I think it was a boy and a girl. She said we'd get to meet them when we get there."

    "Oh, okay then. Cool." I paused for a moment, thinking. "Do you want to get up and go get a drink?"

"Sure, if it helps you to shut up."

I flung my sheets off of my legs and bounded out the door into the kitchen with Matt following close behind. I opened the fridge and poured us a glass of water each. I sat down at the kitchen bench. "What's it like being the oldest in your family, Matt?"

"It's alright, I guess."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, I'm expected to be the most mature which means that I'm supposed act like an adult."

"Pffff. You? Act like an adult?"

"I know right? I mean, it's cool having Bella and James look up to me but because they're so little, I have to do everything.  Mum's almost never home and Dad's always home so we always do everything. I do the cooking, the cleaning and the washing and he does just about everything else."

"How does your dad do it when you're at school?"

"He tries to keep them at occupied with as much as possible. Dad can't cook at all so, Bella and James are stuck with either microwave food or fast food. Why do you want to know anyway?"

    "Know what?"

    "What it's like being the oldest?"

    "I dont know, I guess I've just always wanted to be the oldest. Not the middle child that's always forgotten, always left behind. You know, on my grade 7 awards night they left me behind? At my own awards night. I was the only child going to Hollowcrest, I was the reason they were there and they still forgot me. And another time, when I six, they left me at the Brisbane Ekka. One of the most busiest places you could leave a kid! I was almost trampled to death!
   
    "Mason's Mum and Dad's first kid, so of course they're always proud of him, always talking about him like he's their most proudest achievement,     their favourite kid. I bet it's 'cause he's studying law too. And he's good looking and smart and athletic and much more masculine because apparently dancing isn't nearly as tough as rugby! And then there's Jayden! She's practically perfect in every way! She's such an awesome singer and she's so pretty and she can play any instrument. She's so much more talented. And she's in her final year of high school at one the biggest art schools in the country. I bet she'll be invited to go to Juliard."

    "I dont think you can just be invited."

    "Exactly, but I bet she'll get in anyway. I feel like my parents are even more proud of Trinity than they are of me and she's not even a teenager yet!"

    "What's there to be proud of? When she sings she sounds like a dying cat."

    "It's because she's an artist! You see that painting?" I pointed to a large beautiful painting that we had just recently mounted on our wall in the hallway. It was filled with blues and reds and purples in abstract swirls that from a distance looked like two people old ing hands. "She painted it for her art assignment last year."

    "What are you trying to say?"

    "I guess I just want my parents to be proud of me. Because it's always felt like they don't love me as much as the others."

    "What do you mean? How could your parents not be proud of you? You're the best dancer I've ever met and the smartest friend I've ever had. Besides Thalia." He added.

    "Mason's smarter. He got Dux every single year."

    "You're better looking. You can sing and play the guitar."

    "Not as well as Jayden. She can play the violin, cello, viola, flute, trumpet, and the guitar."

    "You can dance. They can't.

    "Yeah but..."

    "You need to stop comparing yourself to them. You cant expect yourself to be the best at every single thing."

    "I want to be just as good as them. No, better!"

He sighed. "You know what? I give up. It's too late. I'm too tired."