Prologue

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I sat on my bed in my basketball shorts and a blue wifebeater, trying to convince myself that my copy of "Where The Red Fern Grows" was a very interesting story, because I had to finish this stupid book for a report in my AP English class. I wish my teacher had a better sense of what would be interesting to a group of sixteen year old teens, because thisdefinitelywasn't it. Just as I was turning another unappealing page of puppies, I heard the front door open. My breath caught in my throat. It wasn't Mama, because she left for work half an hour ago. It couldn't have been my sister Ta'shae, she was at basketball practice, or at least on her way home from there. That means it could only be Him. I held my breath, and didn't move a muscle, so that He would think nobody was home, and go pass out on the couch like he usually does. I listened carefully as His heavy footsteps tramped against Mama's carefully polished hardwood floors. I heard him pass the front sitting room, the kitchen and then finally pass by my room and towards the family room in the back of the house. I breathed out a sigh of relief, and pushed back my chin length dreadlocks, out of a nervous habit. I hate being alone in the house with my stepdad. But just as I thought I was in the clear, I heard Him double back towards my room and pause outside my door. Then I heard the knob turn.

"F*ck," I mumbled to myself.

"Well, well, hello Candice," He was slurring. He was drunk. I was all at once disgusted and afraid. He hates gay people and I had just come out to my family six months ago. My mom was in denial about it and kept asking me questions about when I'm getting a boyfriend and such as that. But my stepdad, he hated me. Never openly, never in front of mama, but I could see in his eyes, the burning hatred of a homophobic zealot. He scared me, real bad.

"Hi, Dad," I replied quietly.

"What're you readin' there? Some dyke book?" He laughed loudly and belched and came further into my room. Now I could smell the alcohol on him. Steven Jackson didn't socialize much, but Jack Daniels was definitely his best friend. I wrinkled my nose and shrank back against the wall next to my bed.

"No, dad, it's a book for school. I'm doing homework." I added the last part in the hopes that he would leave me alone, because he was really big on me and Ta'shae having good grades. But to my immense irritation, he sat down on my bed right in front of me.

"Put the book down Candice and look at me, 'cuz I needa talk to you."

Reluctantly, I did as he said and set my book to the side. A small, morbid side of me was glad to stop forcing the story into my head. "Ok, what did you want to talk to me about?" I inquired.

"You needa stop this stupid ass gay sh*t that you're doin'. I'm not havin' a goddamn bulldagger in my house. Get you a nice boyfriend and stop the bullsh*t. Why don't you like men?"

When i didn't answer him, he snorted and said, "You're broken and needa be fixed."

And to my shock, he grabbed my ankle and pulled me to his side of my bed, and forced my legs apart.

"Stop, what the f*ck are you tryna do!!" I yelled and thrashed around, but he kept ahold of me and switched his grip to my wrists and held them above my head, and then he got halfway off my bed and positioned himself between my legs.

"I just told you, you needa be fixed. No nasty faggot girl is goin to pollute my f*ckin house with that sh*t"

He held my hands tightly, so I bucked and kicked wildly, screaming all the while, but it was to no avail. He laughed and with his free hand he stuck his hand in my shorts and felt that I was wearing no underwear. He started rubbing me agressively, making me cry out. I guess he thought that there was nothing else I could do, because he let go of my hands and used his other hand to hold my middle section down while he continued to assualt me. I hit at him and scratched, but he kept going, and I was becoming more desperate, because my body was betraying me. I could feel myself getting wet, and my screams were peppered more and more with gasps that had nothing to do with my fear. Soon, even though I was still trying to fight this bastard off, my hips were bucking wildly under him and I could feel a tension building inside of me that I've only read about.

"No, no, nooo please stop this, please just get off, I won't tell, I swear just get off." I begged and pleaded with him, my speech interjected with moans, especially when he hit my most senstitive spot. How could this feel so good when I definitely didn't want it?

He must have known what i was feeling, because he smiled and laughed his disgusting drunken laugh.

"See, I knew you really didn't like other f*cking dyke butch b*tches, you just need a real man to show you what a woman-"

His voice was cut off by a loud thud, and he fell sideways off my bed, apparently knocked out cold. I looked up, and there was Ta'shae, standing before me with tears in her eyes and a shovel from Mama's garden in her hand.

"I'm so sorry Candy, I called the police, its going to be ok" She ran to me and scooped me up into her long arms. We sat like that on my bed for a while, in silence, listening to the approaching sirens, that sounded like an alarm, the closer they got....

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