I'm a mother fucking cat!! (Alan Ashby)

Goodbye

Hey guys I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I've just got so much going on, and I'm realising things I wish I had realised years ago, and it's hit me hard real fucking hard. but enough about me I just want you guys to know that I love everyone of you and the fact the people even read my shitty fanfictions make me so happy, but anyway this is the last chapter. I hope you guys like it. I started writing an Andy Biersack fanfiction about 2 months ago I've only got 2 chapters but when I feel like I can start updating regularly I will upload it. but until then just keep trying you guys are all amazing people and I love you.

Chantelle. X

I've just finished making sure I have everything and now I'm waiting to Alan to wake. I mean I thought about leaving a note, but I don't know yet I've one written just incase at the last minute I change my mind, everything's in the car so I can just put the note on the table and run out the door, but I feel I need to say goodbye properly. Oh crap Alan's fidgeting! I stood up ready to put the note on the table and leave but I couldn't bring myself to move any further than that,

"Silent?" Alan grumbled looking up at me, "is everything ok?" he seems so normal so... Alan. what am I saying? of course he's Alan,

"baby? why aren't you saying anything? what's in your hand?" crap the note, I didn't know what to do, what to say, I opened my mouth to say something but couldn't, I pushed my hand forwards and handed Alan the note,

"Babe you're scaring me what is this?" he opened the note and started to read out loud, a bad habit of his, I could help but smile a little at his silly bad habits he has that I love so much, like the way he rolls his cigaret in his hand when he smokes, or the way he bites his lip,

"Dear Alan, if you're reading this it means there's two possibilities to what could have happened, one I chickened out and left and you found it on the table or, two I'm stood in front of you but can't bring myself to say anything, possibility two I'm gonna guess" I couldn't help but smile at his silly comment, another of his bad habits stupid little comments, my smile quickly faded when I realised what was coming next,

"I'm leaving. don't try and get me to stay because I won't not this time." Alan looked up at me and the look in his eyes made me feel like I was about to drop to my knees and cry he looked so broken,

"Something happened today. something I will never forget. Aaron told me about Ezra, well I guess he decided to pay me a well deserved visit," Alan instantly looked up and stared into my eyes he looked so guilty,

"What did I do to you?" I could hear the disgust in his voice, I didn't say anything I couldn't, I looked at him with pleading eyes, I needed to leave before I broke,

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I caused you so much stress, if I had just stopped being a victim of what happened to me, we would have been able to have a normal relationship, and you wouldn't have had to hide all your anger, because I would have been able to handle it, and he wouldn't be back, so I've decided it's time I leave, let you have your life back, I've over stayed my welcome, Ezra has made that very clear, I wish you the best of luck with your carrier and your life, I wish you can find a women who will treat you that way you deserve and for you to grow old and have the children you dream of, and maybe just maybe one day in the future we will see each other again and you can tell me all about your new life. I'll love you for ever and always. Cass." I looked up to see tears running down his beautiful face, leaving behind blotchy read marks,

"Don't" was all he said and that's all it took, all it took for me to know I had to leave, it wasn't what he said but it was the look in his eyes when he said it, the guilt they held and I knew he was blaming this all on himself but none of this, not one bit was his fault. I didn't say a word I walked over to him placed each hand on either side of his face, he stared up at me, and it looked like a broken fish tank, his eyes were the glass, his tears the water, and his iris' the fish, the colour slowly fading from the beautiful coloured fish as they died, I used my thumbs to wipe away his tears, I pressed a small kiss on his lips and rested my forehead against his,

"Maybe one day in the future" was all I said before I let go of him, and walked out the door, I climbed in my car, the minute I sat in the car I started crying. I pulled myself together and drove to my new home.

But little did Alan know that I'd only be living 15 minutes down the road.