"Heavy Shit"

Chapter 1: Unfufilled...

*Author's Note* Before you start reading this book I just want to say that none of the pictures, music, or videos belongs to me. Soo.. yeah✌

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"Are you ready yet? Fuking restaurant probably closed by now. It shouldn't take you this long Fatima!"

Staring at myself in the mirror, I think to myself, he's always yelling at me.        

I've been dressed for forty-five minutes now. Grabbing the rolls on my belly that's hidden under my silk blouse makes me feel unwanted, unloved and insecure. Still looking at my horrible reflection, I slowly ease my sink drawer open and reach to the back.

Boom Boom Boom!

"Fatima! What the hell are you doing in there? You're about to get left!"

This feels all too familiar. The frown between my eye brows, the red face, the tears that's stinging in my eyes and the shaky chin. It feels like my heart's caving in. I hate when I feel like this.

I slam the drawer closed and swing the door open.

"I'm not going."

I make my way to the kitchen with only one thing on my mind. Chocolate. Everybody loves chocolate, especially when they're depressed.

"Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you? Had me out here waiting for damn near 2 hours and now you're telling me you're not going? Why? Why do you keep doing this to us Tima?"

I ignore my husband of 2 years and keep walking. Chocolate is all I desire. I can hear it calling me.

"Would you just talk to me?!"

I feel Gordon grab my hand, but I don't want to be touched. In a rage I turn around and push him with all my might. He doesn't budge.

"Don't!...touch me Gordon."

One hand on the freezer as I watch him intensely. He stares at me like I've just lost my damn mind. Exasperated and obviously tired of my episodes, he turns his back and rubs his hand through his curly red hair. I hate his hair.

I hate his ocean deep blue eyes. I hate his perfect smile. I despise his pink lips. I hate every suit that occupies his half of our walk in closet that we share. But most of all, I think I hate him.

Gordon Fields. My 3rd husband in my 27 years of living. He's just like the rest of them. Human dollar bills that walks around in suits and call the shots to people that's less fortunate than them.

They live a life that seems picture perfect to the public but in reality their nothing but bitches with money. Every Tuesday and Friday we are to have a business dinner with his boss, a few investors and their wives. The truth is, I hate pretending.

I'm unfulfilled in this marriage. My appetite is unsatisfied. My sex drive is insatiable. My heart seems heavy and I just can't pretend to love someone, who's time has already ran out. I'm not the bad guy though, he is.

He doesn't love me. Maybe he did once but probably when I was thinner and more presentable to be the wife he desired that belonged on his arm. He's a bitch.

I turn back to the freezer to retrieve my happiness in a bin.

"I don't understand you Fatima. I do everything I can to make sure you're happy but...you just overlook all of my efforts."

I grab a spoon and head for the couch. I can feel my throat locking up.

"I just don't know what to do with you anymore."

I freeze.

"You don't know what to do with me anymore?"

I drop the ice cream and spoon on the couch and start ripping my clothes off until I'm completely naked.

"Do you love me?"

I could see the disgust flicker in his eyes but I try to ignore it.

"Fatima I...please just put your clothes back-"

"Do you love me!?"

I stand there in my bare skin, heartbreaking with tears running down my face. Gordon grabs his keys and heads to the door.

"Gordon please answer me."

Chest heaving now. I hate him but if he told me the truth then maybe I wouldn't feel so broken. What if I was the bad guy?

"Do you...love me?"

With his hand on the doorknob and his back turned to me,

"No... Not when you're like this. I don't even know you and as far as I'm concerned, you stopped being the woman I loved a year ago."

That was all the confirmation I needed. My legs gave out from underneath me as I hear the door slam behind Gordon's exit. I wonder, how he would treat me if I wasn't so heavy?

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Yaay you made it! 👏👏
Finally!
I was waiting on you foreeeeever! 😂

Thanks for reading the first chapter. This is a short story so all the chapters maybe the same length if not some longer than the others.

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