Involved

seventeen

isabelle langa

The air was clear and cool while the sun was at its peak. Killian and I had just arrived at a racecourse. It would be my first time seeing a horse race. His parents had a suite with a mini bar, servers, high chairs and a lounge to overlook the track. My expectations were exceeded. Those who surrounded us were just as sophisticated as Patrick and Alexa and it was oddly intimidating.

"Killian cleaned up nicely. I was worried he might show up in shorts and a hoodie," Alexa playfully joked. Patrick had taken him away to speak with other people who were also in the suite. Apparently they were connections to the NBA which I knew Killian didn't need because he could make it there on his own, but it wouldn't be harmful.

"He wanted to," I responded, wishing my words could be a joke but they weren't. Finding Killian in anything other than athletic attire was difficult. But today he wore a white dress shirt with navy pants and a brown leather belt that matched his dress shoes. Saying I felt proud was an understatement. I was ecstatic with the attire I had chosen chosen for him.

"I'm sure he did," she sighed. Using my straw to stir my drink, I took a large sip and tasted how strong it was. Alexa had ordered it for me and hadn't even bothered telling me what was in it. "You'll get used to it," she noticed my distaste for the drink.

"Have you always gone to horse races?" I asked her as we stared at the track. The races hadn't begun yet.

"Killian's father was the one who got me into it. He bought me a race horse as an engagement present," she smiled to herself in thought of him. I wondered what it must be like to have your partner suddenly pass one day. I knew she probably still loved him even after all these years. "My parents had always gone to horse races when I was growing up, but we never had one. Patrick enjoys them and he owns a few horses."

I glanced over at Killian who was on the other side of the suite. His hands were in his pocket and he looked invested in his conversation with Patrick and two other men. He looked like he was made for this world, which he is. He may be Killian, but Alexa still raised him to be heavily involved in things like horse races and rich people charity events. That shouldn't have intimidated me as much as it did.

A part of me felt as if I wasn't good enough to even be here with him. Killian has never made me feel lesser than him. In fact, he's always treated me like I'm above him and like he's constantly working to prove his worth to me. But standing here and seeing the side of him that he tends to ignore was frightening. Whether he wants to ignore it or not, this is all still apart of him and this part of him makes me feel insignificant and small.

From the corner of my eye I could see a man enter the suite. A man who I immediately recognized as Jeremiah. He smiled, briefly speaking with men before he saw me.

"Hi, I didn't know you were into these things," Jeremiah grinned, pulling me into a hug.

"I could say the same to you," I pulled away to get a better look at him. I was suddenly grateful he was here because despite everyone seeming nice, I was the only black person here prior to him.

"I have a horse that is racing. And Patrick is a good friend of mine," he informed me and completely took me by surprise. Apart from him being quite wealthy, he was black and this wasn't the usual stuff we involved ourself in.

"Don't tell Junior that. I told him I was coming here and he suddenly started calling me posh and used a British accent the entire time he spoke to me," I rolled my eyes at my brother's annoyance. My brother's obsession with black people remaining out of 'white people shit' was ridiculous.

Junior was quickly bailed out of jail by Dre and was currently sorting out his legal stuff. Thankfully, it didn't involve me.

"Oh I know. I tried telling him to open up a bank account and start keeping his money there and he laughed at me. My home has become his vault," he shook his head and I laughed. Junior has always hated banks.