Addicted- {Don't You Remember?}

The Funeral

After the cops discovered the body, they had to practically drag the both of us out of that house. Zella was especially hysterical, having to be put under drugs to get out without hurting someone, including herself. I on the other hand, was too busy making sure Zella was okay to worry about how I felt. It was for the best anyways. I couldn't imagine walking into something like that... I couldn't blame the woman for being so panic-stricken. I couldn't quite remember what she told the cops. She was... at a friend's house and too drunk to drive home? It seemed like something she would do. But to be honest, there wasn't a day these past couple weeks that I've been sober and I forget these sorts of things. I don't even think there was a day that I got at least 5 hours of sleep. Every time I shut my eyes, I would picture what I saw that horrible day. The way his neck was snapped. The way his body was tied. The plastic bag tightly tied around his neck.

His unblinking, staring eyes.

Especially his eyes.

You would think Zella and I would talk to each other more often now, since it seemed like we only have each other. But I never felt so isolated in my life. Now that I think about it, I really don't think we've talked since the episode. I wondered how she was holding up...

It's been almost a month since that event transpired and I was on my way to Ghost's funeral. It was a cloudy day. It had rained the day before so the air was humid and everything was wet. I walked with my head hung low to the nearest bus stop, stepping into as many puddles as I possibly could in the sidewalk. I needed to shave my face, but what was the point? It's not like I was trying to impress anyone. I wore what I could afford, nothing too fancy but black for the sake of my best friend's funeral. After waiting for the bus, it pulled up in front of me. The doors pried open as the bus driver didn't even bat an eye. I trudged up the steps and made my way inside, the doors slowly closing behind me. I decided to sit down by the window. The bus was almost completely empty. Then again, there wasn't a lot of people in this town and almost every part of it lacked crowds of people. Before I could sit, the bus started moving again, making me jerk forward. I had to grip onto a nearby seat to avoid slamming my face into the floor. After balancing, I sat down near the window and sighed deeply.

This was too much.

I took out the bottle of oxycodone and opened the lid to see that there's only one pill left.

"Damn it," I cursed under my breath. I laid my head against the window and shut my eyes. The soft way the bus moved and the quiet chatter of the people made me drowsy. It was so peaceful... not silent like the inside of my apartment. But white noise. My body began to feel numb as I felt myself sink into the seat. I don't think I could keep my eyes closed any longer. I'd fall asleep.

The last thing I need is to be late, or even miss, his funeral.

I forced myself to stand. I swear I thought I heard my body screaming at me. Gripping onto the handle above with one hand, I waited for my stop impatiently. After about 20 minutes of blissful peace, I arrived at my stop. Paying the bus driver, I made my way out before anyone else could and looked around as people walked around me. I felt like a heavy rock at the bottom of a creek. And the water was quickly rushing through it. I started to walk again, now recalling where I needed to be.

Once I made it inside the funeral home, I walked up some stairs and went down a few hallways until I made it to the room. A coffin was held up on a large pedestal. My best friend's coffin. His mom was with a few people, exchanging hugs and kisses. Her makeup was running down her face, it was obvious that she was crying. The twin sisters stood side by side, drinking a glass of water merely in sync. Besides his dad walked out on him when he was a kid, his family was the one I wish I had. They were so accepting and caring, despite being very religious. I couldn't spot Ghost's stepdad anywhere. But I did find Zella. She was sitting on one of the seats in front of me, her back faced towards me. I walked up to her and hesitated before sitting next to her. She sat with her arms folded on her lap. She stared expressionless at the coffin ahead, bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. Her black gown was as dark as the night sky and her choppy, black hair fell into her face. She looked so tired. I could even see bags forming under her eyes. Poor bastard.

"Zella..." I started quietly. I placed a hand on her shoulder. I always knew I was small, being five feet tall and all. But Zella made me feel even smaller. She didn't answer, or do anything. She acted like I wasn't there and it pissed me off. But who could blame her? She walked into her finance brutally murdered for Christ's sake. I'm surprised she looks as alive as she does.

~~~~~~

"Ghost was the most important person in my life," Zella spoke, standing in front of everyone on the wooden podium. Her dark brown eyes seemed to watch everyone in the room, "Explaining how much I loved him is almost trying to explain colors to a blind person. Or trying to explain the taste of water. Or trying to explain why God decided to rip his soul off this planet so soon. We were going to get married. On his birthday, actually. We planned this... beautiful summer wedding at the beach. We went out for dinner at my favorite restaurant down the road and I should have saw it coming. He paid for it and everything. And then out of the blue he said, 'You know what would be the best birthday present of all?' And after I asked what, he pulled out this tiny black box..." She paused, using her fingers to demonstrate how small it was, "...went down to one knee and looked up at me and said the 4 words every person would love to hear," She stopped smiling and looked away, wiping a tear that ran down her cheek, "Of course I said yes! But... that was after I told him my deepest secret that you all deserve to know..." She cleared her throat, "I am terminal."

What?

Everyone was struck with shock. Not one person in that room knew that Zella was dying, not even me. This explains why Ghost wanted to get married to her so soon. This explains why she is still alive.

"And why Ghost still wanted to marry me? I don't know... I didn't tell anyone because I don't want people to pity me. Treat me like some charity case. Act like I want attention." Her voice became bitter, showing resentment in every word she spat, "Ghost agreed not to tell anyone too. And really, I have made my peace with my sickness long before I came out. But I'll be damned if I don't find out what happened to the love of my life before I pass," She looked at me deep in the eyes when she muttered, "And I can use all the help I can get." I felt chills go down my spine. But I dismissed it immediately.

"Thank you everyone for showing up today." She faced Ghost's coffin longingly. Her voice shook, "Ghost... William Goldburg. I love you with all my heart. You will never be forgotten.

Never."