Ninjago Oneshots

Little Moments

Headcanons: Kai cries in bathrooms, Jay has social anxiety, Cole likes singing (although I believe like everyone headcanons that Cole slays at singing)

Jay had always been a passionate guy, even as a kid. He got super into stuff and wasn't afraid to let everyone know just how much he loved it. Most kids didn't like him for that reason.

He had a few friends growing up, okay well more like a group of friends, but they couldn't seem to really listen either. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how often he talked, no matter how many new people he sought out, he just couldn't find anyone who cared enough to listen.

Now he found a new group of friends, and honestly they were the best friends he ever had. They had been friends - a team - brothers - for a little over a year now, and now that the world wasn't in grave danger, they were just hanging out and being brothers all the time. But once again, he somehow found his voice to be invisible. Whether it be playing cards or video games, training, or in the heat of battle, he would say something, a suggestion or a comment, and no one would hear him.

He would try asking "Did any of you hear me?" and his response was the shaking of heads or the deadpanned "nope". Sometimes he didn't even get an answer then. He spoke loudly for one reason and one reason only, to be heard. Whether by his parents, friends, teachers, or even strangers, all he ever longed for was to be heard by someone - anyone!

So he stopped playing cards and he stopped playing video games, hoping that maybe someone would notice that he had in fact stopped. He stopped talking all the time hoping that maybe someone would talk to him. He stopped being open, hoping that maybe someone would want to let him open up. No one noticed, no one did.

There were times when he would cry himself to sleep. The team must be really deep sleepers because none of them ever heard. He would cling to one of his secret stuffed animals instead of a friend. He would spend more time reading comic books than talking to others. He would start to skip meals. Slowly starting with breakfast, then lunch, and even dinner. He would train by himself instead of with the team. When they went out, he would make sure to take a different vehicle from the other ninja.

He used to think that maybe Nya would notice something, but even she was completely oblivious. They were dating, but he constantly found her flirting with other men. More handsome, tall, artistic, smart men. He would ask her about it - ask her to stop, ask her why. She would deny it, claim he was being jealous, and purposely ignore him as punishment.

Jay became lonely, sad, and even, as much as he hated to admit it, pessimistic. He would leave The Bounty all the time to walk around the city, hike through woods, wander around small towns, and he would feel happy. Then he returned to The Bounty and fell back into the pessimism.

After what felt like years but in reality was only a few months, these... little things started to happen. Tiny, tiny, things. Kai would pass him down the halls or anywhere honestly and say, "Bro" then fistbump him. He started coming to breakfast.

He started finding comic books on his bed every few weeks, good comic books, like really good comic books, like limited edition ones sometimes. He didn't realize who they were from until the sixth comic book came with a note from Zane. He started coming to lunch.

One time when Jay was going on a hike through the woods, he heard something behind him. He turned around and saw Cole, smiling sheepishly. "You don't mind if I tag along, right?" he had asked Jay. Jay tried to hide his beam and nodded his head. So they went on the walk. Cole wasn't much of a talker, but the smiles he threw at Jay when they passed something beautiful and when he asked "You wouldn't mind if I tag along next time, right?" well, Jay started going to dinner.

One night during dinner his hand was clutching the chair nervously, he felt forgotten again. He felt tears sting his eyes but then he felt a warm presence, a warm touch. He looked at his hand and saw that Nya had grabbed it and was holding it tightly. She winked at him then turned her head to talk to Kai. This went on for several nights. He started playing cards again.

One day he was sitting in the video game room by himself, reading a comic book when he saw a piece of paper in his face. He looked above the paper and saw Lloyd grinning widely at him. Jay read the paper and gasped loudly when he saw the words "Fritz Donagon: Starfarer Movie Ticket". Lloyd pulled out another one. There were two. Jay started playing video games again.

It really was those little things, those little things he never seemed to notice before, the little things he didn't try to notice. Maybe he had missed Kai calling him "bro" and the hurt look on the fire ninja's face each time Jay referred to someone else as "bro". Maybe he has missed the small little smirk on Zane's face every time Jay gushed over something, a smirk saying that the Nindriod had heard him and that he had a plan. Maybe he had missed the look of longing on Cole's face when he returned from a walk in the woods, smelling like the woods, a longing to go along to be where he felt at home. Maybe he had missed Nya's attempts at making up for her flirting, maybe he had missed Lloyd's eyes get attentive each time he mentioned Fritz and his mouth widen, about to say something but close, believing it's not worth it.

Maybe he really had missed a lot. Maybe they were all listening, but maybe they didn't know how to show it. Maybe they were too scared of getting shot down, maybe they were afraid of their voice getting drowned out too. Maybe he wasn't the one listening. Maybe they really had heard him crying at night, they just didn't know how to respond to it, didn't know how to help. Maybe they were too scared they wouldn't be able to help.

Jay had heard them cry themselves to sleep before. Or at least heard their way of crying themselves to sleep. There were nights he had seen the shadow of Kai leave bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and see him return a half hour later, sniffling. There were nights when Zane wouldn't come into their shared room at all, and the next morning he would be silent at breakfast, a far off look in his eyes. There were nights when he could hear the faint noise of Cole's music from his headphones and heard the Earth ninja ever so softly mutter along, his words filled with pain (Cole only listened to music to sleep when he was upset, he used to do it every night until everyone complained about how annoying it was... oh...). There were nights when he heard the door next to their room slam shut and heard stomping down the halls. They all knew it was Nya. There were nights when he would hear the sound of sheets ruffling together, arms and legs smacking the bed frantically, then finally silence as Lloyd awakened from his nightmare. He could hear small panting until the green ninja finally fell asleep again.

Now that Jay thought about it, none of the ninja knew what to do, how to comfort others. Kai would be angry at himself for not knowing what to say and take it out on the person he was trying to comfort. Zane would feel too awkward, unsure of how he could help. Cole wouldn't say anything, he would think it instead, unfortunately no one can read thoughts. Nya would just try and smile at them but sometimes it's not enough. Lloyd would try to speak but his words would soon fade to nothing. Jay, well, he would physically assault them with hugs and love but not everyone needs that.

None of them really grew up with comfort, so none of them really knew how to give it. Each time Jay felt himself disappear, he would squeeze his eyes shut and focus on the little moments, the ones everyone often missed. He would feel content, and he would make more of an effort to reach out to another. Each time he felt like he was fading, he would find another ninja and give them a little moment.

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Okay, so this is, quite obviously, a Jay oneshot. It's based on the song 'Disappear' from the musical Dear Evan Hansen and was originally titled 'Disappear'. I wrote this one day when I was rather upset, and since, despite Cole being my favorite, I relate to Jay this most, this little thing happened.

Also, I am aware that Nya probably wouldn't have flirted with other men, I just used to have a lowkey vendetta against her (it's better now) (okay mostly because the love triangle mess was her fault and people blame Cole for it even though he never loved Nya and was just lowkey gay for Jay??) and I kinda did that... also I couldn't think of anything else.

Some of the things I mentioned are kind of based on some of my Ninjago Headcanons (ex. Kai always, ALWAYS, cries in bathrooms...) so that's why they seem kind of specific. 

Anyways, thanks for reading, sorry if it sucked, and also sorry the A/N is long... I tend to ramble... have a good day!