RedAce // ziam

twenty

[ hellooooo, so sorry for the late update :/ ]

*Liam's POV*

"So what do you think about Niall?" Zayn dragged out as he handed me a cup of coffee; he thought it'd be a good idea for me to spend a bit of time at his house (because he wanted to be on the 'look out' and because he thought it would earn us some sort of reaction from the other RedAce) It was a shit plan but it was something. 

"He's fine, Zayn. Leave him alone" 

"What? I was just asking" Zayn shrugged before he sat down beside me, pulling his laptop over to his lap. 

"No, you were hinting"

This was a bad idea; I knew that from the second Zayn suggested it but for some bizarre reason I agreed - and now, I was with Zayn alone in his freaking apartment. Amazing. 

Zayn shifted beside me as if sensing my thoughts and put a little distant between our bodies (a part of him wanted his skin back against mine because Zayn provided warmth like no one else) but the other part of me was more than okay with the distance between us. At least he was willing to give me some space and time, althought I am not sure I will ever be over this. If I ever will be able to accept Zayn as who he was or he really is. 

"Niall's just popped out of no where, I am just making sure" 

"Yeah well, Niall hasn't even talked to me yet. He too busy making goofy eyes at Harry, so you know, you can stop making sure" Zayn's eyes snapped towards me, burning to the side of my face since I refused to meet his eyes. 

"Will you stop?" He snapped just as a frown took over his perfect features. 

"Stop what?"

"This, everything. I get it. I fucking know what I did but for fuck's sake Liam, you can't be this distant for me, yeah? I know you are angry and hurt and all that but so am I. I am angry at myself for ruining us, for ruining you but I'm trying to make this better so you have to let me" Zayn had shifted closer to me by the end of that, his hand resting just barely on my thigh as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to do that or not. 

I looked around helplessly for second - how was I supposed to respond to that? I didn't want to make Zayn feel this bad but I didn't know how to make him feel better without lying to him. I wasn't ready to forget things and I certainly didn't want to give him false comfort by letting him think that he was forgiven. 

"I wish you were just Zayn" I finally whispered. Zayn eyes flickered away from me for a second before they retook their place; his stare pierced through me as if digging for answers. 

"Me too" 

"I'm sorry" I then said because that I truly was. It wasn't my mission to make Zayn feel bad and I knew he was feeling bad and despite everything Zayn had done, I couldn't let him be hurt. 

Zayn lips parted as he opened his mouth to reply but he was stopped by my phone vibrating in the palm of my hands. Zayn instantly stopped and backed away from me, gesturing for me to hand him over my phone. I did. 

Zayn glanced at the screen, "It's him"

Zayn eyes followed the message on the screen before he handed the phone over to me. I dared to met his eyes, craving some sort of comfort. 

remember Josh's party last year? I still can't seem to forget how good you looked in those black jeans - they fitted you perfectly. Wear those again tomorrow, for me? x

-RedAce

Zayn was basically fuming beside me, his fists clenched together as if he was stopping himself from breaking something and I did the only thing I could think of doing, I grabbed his hand and laced my fingers through his. When Zayn diverted his attention towards me, I squeezed his hand (the last thing I needed right now was Zayn lashing out) 

"Right 'm okay" He mumbled and I loosened my grip on his hand but didn't let go. 

"So tell me about this party, It would really help if you remember who was there" Zayn carried on after a few seconds. 

"Josh used to work with Lou and me, he left just few months ago. I don't really remember the party, it wasn't that big just a few people. I dragged Harry there with me because he was really upset about something, I don't know what and Louis was there obviously. A few people that work in the coffee shop and a few of Josh's friends" I said, as far as I remember nothing weird happened in that party. 

Zayn nodded, "Do you still talk to Josh?"

"No, not really but I have his number but you're not calling" I stated when Zayn went to grab for my phone. 

"And why's that?"

"Because you wouldn't even give the guy a chance to explain and I do not want to ruin my relationship with Josh, make it all awk--"

"Your relationship with Josh?" 

"As in our friendship. Stop getting jealous"

"I don't get jealous" Zayn replied with a smug expression before he turned back to his laptop. I decided to not go any further with the conversation because I probably wouldn't like how it ends up to be. 

[ so yeah. hope that made up for the long wait. sorry for any typos/errors. ]

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