Cutter

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I have a bit of trouble with self harm, I haven't done it in awhile and I do not wish for your pity nor sympathy. I wanted to tell you about the night my boyfriend and I had a huge fight, something wanted me to cut again.

The day he came over, I forgot what stared the fight, but it happened. We didn't really yell at each other, but it really hurt me emotionally. I deiced to calm my nerves by taking a shower, in the shower I had an urge to cut, I heard a voice telling me to. A razor even fell off on of the shelves in the shower. It kept telling me to cut, kept telling me that I was nothing but a cutter and that's all I'll ever be, just a cutter. I could feel the razor blades on my skin so I got out of the shower and I went to bed.

A few hours later around three a.m. I heard a little girl call my name from the bathroom "Stephanie" it said. I got up, by this time my boyfriend and I stopped fighting and we made up. Anyway on my way past the bathroom the door shut, I ran downstairs and grabbed my rosary and started praying and took it upstairs with me. I was so scared, I wrapped it around my phone, looking at it I fell asleep. That wasn't it, I had a nightmare I don't know what it was about all I remember is I couldn't wake up no matter how hard I tried.

Just so you know, while I was writing this story my laptop died, I just finished charging it. It had a full battery. I also started getting sick while typing.

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