Just Another Ex

Broken

As I enter the bathroom I bursted into tears, tears I wish I hadn't have to cry. I sat down broken, torn, the only person who I let myself get attached to just detached his self from my life leaving an empty space I knew not how to fill.
" Im a teenager a stupid love struck idiot, that seems to always fall for the wrong guys " I cried with the tears streaming down my face,
Sometimes I wish I could just forget him and everything about him but apart of me seemingly always hold on of the fake hope that he would come back to me.

"Tista, Tista!!!" I heard my one year old sister screeching

"Coming, dear" I bleated as I

quickly wiped away the tears that kept replenishing themselves
I got up quickly I splash water against my face making it less obvious that I was crying
Opening the door I saw my sister patiently waiting for me to come out.
She was the only good thing in my life other than my parents now.
"Necy baby, what's wrong with you?"
"Mommy, Nia" she reply, I don't know why but for some strange reason she always calls me mommy.
"Nia are you going to iron or hold youre sister" my mom snickered already knowing my answer
"IRON!!!" I half heartedly said,
I loved my sister ,of course but she was too energetic for my tired and worn out spirit
Shortly after I went to take a shower to clear my head but all I could think about was him....again.
I hated him so much for breaking my heart yet still I loved him with all of the pieces ,its like im living in a sope opera but still every thing is real just like the invisible blows to my heart.
I turned the tap letting the warm water beat against my skin and just then a song came to my mind.

"Feeling used but im still missing

you and I can't see the end of this
just wanna feel you're kiss

against my lips now all this time

is passing by and I can't seem to

tell you why it hurts me

everytime  I see you cause I

realize how much I need you

I hate you I love you, I hate that I

love you don't want to but I can't

put nobody else above you

I hate you I love you I hate that I

want you,you want her you need

her ....but I will never be her"

I sang it with pure emotions heartily in-between my sobs and water works that was taking place.
It seemed as if that song applied to  our relationship and my situation a hundred percent like it was made for us.
"Do I seem desperate now ? Was there something I did wrong? Or did he just stop loving me ?"
All these questions ran through my mind but no answers came but I knew truly the only one who could tell me these answers was.....him