Remember

"Cas!" Dean shouted. Castiel glanced behind him and locked eyes with Dean, making Dean stop in his tracks..he just stared. The two of them communicating with one another just by simple eye contact. Dean dropped to his knees and reached out a hand to grasp Castiel but the distance between them made it impossible. Deans eyes began to burn with tears when Castiel turned away from him.

"Please...Say somethin' Cas" Dean pleaded, tears began to dance down his face. The slow dance of tears slowly turned in to waterfalls of pure damage. Just then he heard Castiel take in a sharp breath. The silence between them grew once more soon to be filled with the quiet sobs from Dean. And with that, Castiel turned his head once again to face Dean.

"No.." He whispered. "I have to.." And with that, Castiel dissapeared in to the light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought I saw the Devil, this morning..

Dean dropped the bottle lazily, the glass clinking in defense against the motel counter. His beer coated upon his bottom lip, gripping on to it as a single drop rolled down his chin. His eyes were still burning from the recent tears he had shed just before Cas dissapeared, he was so deep in thought the small kitchen seemed to swirl before him. He had just lost Cas. And now he was drinking away his problems like a teenager dealing with his first break up, He knew he would have a hang over in the morning but at the moment he couldn't give a rats ass if he tried. Sam was out on a food run and Dean knew when Sam walked in he would find Dean by himself and depressed surrounded by beer bottles, he had officially surrendered himself the glass bottle. The bottle he knew made him forget everything from when Sam first offered himself to Lucifer to now. How would he deal with this forever? He couldn't just drink beer all day. Sam wouldn't let him, it always felt like Sam was the older one even though Dean himself was the older one. Sam had been the one to go to college, get a girlfriend, and actually have an apple pie life. Sam was always picking up Dean's mistakes and fixing them.

As Dean was drowning in his thoughts, Sam had walked through the door to find Dean surrounded by bottles. Sighing he picked a napkin out of the bag and approached dean with a gentle reassurance. He wiped the lost drop of beer from his chin gently, and with that Dean snapped back in to Reality realizing Sam was right there. He wiped his face with his hand and stood up from the chair stumbling as he walked away from him. Using the nearby wall as a support, a feeling of sickness rose in his stomach and Dean darted to the bathroom slamming the door behind him and dropping to his knee's in front of the toilet supporting himself upon his elbows and gagged and threw up. Dry heaving a few times, Sam leaned against the bathroom door and sighed deeply as he heard his brother gagging and throwing up all 10 bottles of beer he had drank while he was away.

Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue..

"You know you cant be like this forever Dean" Sam said crossing his arms. Dean didn't raise his head from the toilet bowl and just listened to his brothers criticism, He gagged dryly once more then just sat in the silence between them.

"Hes gone Sammy.." Dean stated, his voice cracking at the slightest "He ain't comin' back..." he finished. He heard Sam sigh again, soon the sound of his footsteps walking away from the bathroom door filled the air. Sam leaving Dean alone once more.

"Im going back out" Sam shouted to Dean, Dean dry heaved in response. The motel door could be heard as Sam left him in silence.

Dean laid curled up beside the toilet, tears filling his eyes once more as they soon began to drip down his face forming a puddle beside him. He shakes slightly as he sobbed, praying that Cas might hear him.He punched the tile floor once fiercely, blood tickling his knuckles painting them a deep shade of red. As Deans sobs got louder he pulled himself to the side of the tub and started the water, he placed a shaking hand underneath the warm liquid. It held his hand, the blood washing away and reforming the longer he held his hand underneath of it. The warm feeling reminded him of Cas and the way it felt when Cas held him at his lowest moments from battle when Sammy wasn't looking