Life behind the fame; A Conor Maynard fanfiction

Chapter 20

Conor's P.O.V

The house is airy quiet as I wake up, Alaska's soft breathing instantly making me turn over to my side, watching her sleeping peacefully beside me.

She was beautiful, her dark long hair spread out over the pillow, her mouth slightly open, those soft pink lips parted.

I reach my hand out, pushing her hair away from her face so that I can see her properly.

It was a rare sight seeing her this calm, her energetic persona usually being what I got to see most of the time.

I would lie if I said that I wasn't attracted to her right now yet to be fair maybe I am just craving to have something with someone, someone that cared.

Rolling back so that I face the ceiling once again do sigh. It's still very early and I'd feel bad to wake her up before six o'clock on a Saturday morning.

I grab my phone from the bedside table next to me, double checking if Anth's sent me any texts yet, although he most likely was stuck in a plane right now, on his way to London and little me.

My throat feels tight as I think about it. I hadn't seen Anth since 2012 as I accused him for using me because of my sudden rise to fame. I'd cut everything off with him and now three years later I've decided to give him a second chance.

We wanted to do a cover together and despite Jack's advice against it had I decided to take on Adele's newly released track 'Hello' and I already regret it.

I guess Alaska was the main reason to why I was still going to do it, she'd convinced me to give it a try and as she said 'it can't get worse than it already is. Go for it and give it your all. I know you can do it if you really want to'

It had made me so sure a few days ago but now I was an anxious wreck, doubting everything that had to do with this idea.

What if me and Anth don't get along, what if I make the song sound shit, what if people start hating, unsubscribing? What if Adele sees it?

I shake my head to try and get rid of the voices that I didn't want to hear right now. They'd only lead to a break down and Alaska had witnessed enough of those lately.

Standing up do I walk over to the bathroom, closing the door behind me quietly.

It's a lost Conor that I see in the mirror, the two eyes that used to shine now being dull and dark. My hair all messy, honestly you couldn't get closer to an afro than this.

I feel myself shake as I let the water run until freezing cold, splashing it in my face to try and wash away the traits that I hated.

Yet it doesn't work and soon enough am I stood there with tears streaming down my already wet cheeks, trying to convince myself that I'm in fact not worthless and that I won't live the rest of my life alone.

I dry myself off with a towel even though my bloodshot eyes still gives it all away before I wander back out to the bedroom and a now woke Alaska.

"Come cuddle"

Her voice made me shiver, the slight huskiness telling me that she still was half asleep.

Simultaneously do I crawl back into bed, the warmth from her body as it wraps around me instantly calming my racing heart.

"Why so anxious?"

She whispers it against my hair and it still til this day surprise me that she knows such a thing. That she can read me so well.

"Anth's arriving today"

I sigh, just the thought of it making me want to throw up.

"I thought you were excited over that"