Hi again. Currently having a talk with my best friend in real life and I started to cry. She doesnt know that unless she reads this. We are talking bout how I actually think about killing myself. Cutting. Running away. Because I am just a, fat. Ugly. Cow. I may be an 11 year old but i sure do have these thoughts.
I am ugly.
I am fat.
I am stupid.
I am worthless.
I am invisible.
I am weird.
I am a nobody.
I look at suicidal quotes everynight knowing that they explain my life.
There is one that really explains me.
Lets say there is a car coming towards me,
I wouldn't scream.
I wouldnt cry.
I wouldnt run.
I would just stand there.
Yep bringing out more of the dark side of me. I walk around school like nothing happens in my life when stuff actually does.
I am around my friends and act normal.
In class, normal.
Around my family, quiet.
Alone, I scream on the inside. I cry. I burrow my head into a pillow and scream.
When I'm on class I take my mechanical pencil and dig it into my skin, not cutting it though. Just enough to where it hurts. But I don't cry. Cause my life is so much more pain to me.
