Then and Now

There was a ringing in her ears, it blocked out all sound. She was aware of the ground under her knees, her companions standing in shock around her. Her breathing was surprisingly regular, she could hear both her breathing and her thudding heart in her ears. Who was with her? Think! She screamed to herself mentally. Dorian….with his usually calm demeanor, he now moved to touch his leader’s, and best friend, shoulder, not sure what else to say. Still, she didn’t move.

Ground.

Companions.

Breathing.

Heartbeat.

Solid facts her mind could hold onto.

What had just happened. “I’ll be glad of it…” Solas’ words rang through her mind. Iron Bull stood close, ready to defend his friend and leader. He stood at his full height which had to be somewhere around seven feet tall if one included his horns. His dark eyes flicked around the area, occasionally flicking back to where Solas had disappeared to, clearly ready for a fight.

Vivienne moved slowly kneel in front of the Inquisitor. Her face was stoic but her eyes held concern nonetheless, even through her shock, the Inquisitor could see it. She gently checked her friend’s arm, it didn’t seem to be bleeding too much, in fact, it seemed cauterized. “Come now, darling. Let’s get you out of here.” Vivienne stood and went to speak with Iron Bull who knelt and ripped the left leg of his pants to the knee, offering it to Vivienne who shredded the fabric into strips, wrapping the Inquisitor’s now stump. Confident that it was secure, Dorian and Vivi slowly hefted the Inquisitor to her feet and made sure she was stable. She was a little pale, definitely not thinking too far outside her own mind, but otherwise, fine.

Vivienne pursed her lips and stood in front of the Inquisitor, grabbing her chin to make her look at the Orlesian Mage. “Look here. This bloody well hurts, it hurts all of us and I damn well know it hurts you. But you are the Inquisitor. You still have a job to do and you have nations counting on your judgement and leadership. You will have time later to process but right now, we need YOU. Do you hear me?” It was like everything she said was through water or at least a window. She was trying so hard not to drown. Slowly she nodded her head.

“I hear you, Vivienne.”

“Well then, we have a council to attend.” That was Dorian, ruffling his hand through his usually perfectly quaffed hair shakily.

The Inquisitor took a moment to look at all her friends, her loyal friends that stood by her no matter what. Her breath became hitched as she started to cry. Her shoulders shook and tears streamed down her cheeks. What was she crying about? All of it... she thought weakly. Taking a deep breath, she gained some semblance of control of herself and went to grab her bow.

It took them far less time to get out than it did to get in. Stepping through the portal into the Council Hall, her head held high and eyes dry, she slammed the book onto the table as she told the Council that the Inquisition would not disband, but rather, be under the hand of Divine Victoria. The Fereldan council seemed none too pleased, but the Inquisitor was too numb to care.

After the Council, the Inquisitor simply turned on her heels and walked out, she wasn’t sure where she was going, just away.

She ended up on her last happy moment, the pedestal that she and Cullen had gotten married on. She just stood there, not thinking of anything. The Inquisitor jumped when she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. She was turned around and pulled into a large chest, warm arms wrapping around her tightly. “I’m here.” It was that familiar voice that would whisper sweet nothings in her ear in the middle of the night because they couldn’t sleep. It was the voice that held so much command when speaking to the soldiers. It was the voice that held worry whenever the Inquisitor wanted to do a mission alone.

It was, her husband.

With that, she simply broke down, shaking and crying. If Cullen hadn’t been holding her, she would have fallen to her knees for the second time that day. It was big ugly tears and sniveling, Cullen’s strong arms still kept her safe, like their own private fortress. She wrapped her remaining arm around his large waist as she tried to gain composure. When she was collected enough to speak, she looked up at her husband with red puffy eyes “I...lost the ring…” Was all she could manage to say. The simple gold band Cullen had given her just that day, was gone with her left hand. He gave a small smile that made his lip scar more prominent “I don’t need a ring to love you for eternity.” With those words, the Inquisitor was in tears again as Cullen bent his head to kiss her fears away before picking her up with one arm behind her back and the other under her knees, carrying her to their quarters they had for a couple more days at the Winter Palace.