You constantly want to be alone. But at the same time you want someone to be there with you. But at the same time again, you have fear. Fear of getting hurt or pushed to the ground again or feeling smaller than what you should feel. So because of that fear you push everything else away and put on your persona day in and day out. You act a specific way until you're alone and there's no one left to act for. Then you take off your persona and you want to be alone, but with someone who u can trust and hold and cuddle and talk to. You want this feeling back so badly, almost to a point where u feel as if you're so close to having it but your arm just can't quiet grab it yet. You were so close. But then u had to go and throw it all away again, didn't you.
