"That'll show her!" Chris exclaimed as he put hit laptop down with a satisfied sigh. He giggled to himself thinking about how amazing he was. Goodness, a man can only make himself so erect from narcissism.
He began to make some macaroni and cheese, the box kind. As he was finishing up, Chris remembered that he forgot his secret ingredient: eyelashes from a local child. He kept a special jar full of eyelashes just for special occasions, and you bet your ass this was special. Although, not for what you may be thinking...
The night slowly moved on and Chris was already bored. "Oh, I know.." he thought to himself. "I'll go to the mall to shop for a new fedora, mine is already getting worn down."
So the egocentric young man put on his crocs and left for the mall. Little did he know, there was a special surprise for him there. A surprise that had been waiting for this very moment for 10 years.
Chris whistled The Muffin Man and walked at an obnoxiously slow rate into the mall. He was immediately greeted by a short man with a buzz cut.
"Hello. I am here on account of my client. Please follow me." The man said in a weird German accent.
"Uh what?" Chris replied, slightly less monotone than usual.
"Follow me." The man repeated.
"I know what you said, but why?"
"You shall know soon enough. Now, follow me."
"No I'm not following you into your van, dumbass." Chris said as the man turned around. The man began to walk towards the doors when he suddenly whirled around and pulled out a taser. Chris barely had a chance to blink before he was knocked out.
A few hours must have passed because Chris was getting his usual midnight munchies. "Fuuuuuck I'm hungry." He groaned.
He opened his eyes but everything was black. He couldn't even stretch his arms. "Oh god...this can't be happening."
"OH BUT IT IS." A shrill voice echoed throughout the room. "Hello, Chris." There were a series of footsteps making their way closer, Chris could feel a presence in front of him.
"How do you know my name? Who are you!" Chris shouted.
"Calm your tits, woman. I am Ben. You may recall we were guild mates years ago?"
"Oh sup."
"Yes...sup. I think you know why you are here." Ben trailed off.
"No I don't, and unless you tell me, you better expect sitting in jail until you rot." Chris spat.
"Oh I don't think that will happen, because you see I brought you here for a very specific reason."
"And that reason is...?"
"Gay sex." Ben said frankly. "But not just any kind of gay sex, this will have one rule. That rule is whoever's balls explode first will be deemed the alpha male and can walk away unharmed. The inferior male will be skinned and turned into a chair for the alpha."
"Oh my god...you do know that I'll win, right?" Chris said in his usual know it all tone. "Just like ten years ago."
"WE WILL SEE." Ben chuckled. He snapped his fingers a few times before whipping the blindfold from Chris' face.
Chris gasped when he saw that he was inside a lavishly decorated room. There was a box labeled "Monster Condoms" beside a bed with black satin sheets.
He soon realized what deep shit he was in.
Ben picked Chris up bridal style and tossed him onto the bed. "Shhhh, if you're a good little boy I'll untie you."
"NEVER. You'll have to beat me."
"Okay baby boy..." Ben said as he slid his shirt off.
Time passed slowly in the dimly lit room. Chris slowly began to let go of himself. He could feel all his resistance begin to fade away with each passing minute of hot sex.
After what felt like forever, Chris felt Ben move away. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see Ben run over to the other side of the room and burst into maniacal laughter.
"What's going on?" Chris asked.
"Bitch, look down." Ben said between gasps.
Chris slowly moved his gaze down to his balls and let out a tiny squeak. Where there should have been a ding and a dong, there was nothing but a flat surface of flesh.
"But...oh no, this could only mean one thing..." Chris gasped.
His balls must have exploded while he was distracted my Ben's monster cock.
"No! That's not fair!" He shouted.
"Oh it's fair alright." Ben chuckled. "You know what this means, right?"
Chris knew exactly what that meant...
-2 months later-
Ben had just finished a delightful breakfast, consisting mainly of dear hoof. He got up out of his chair and hummed a jolly tune.
Before picking up the dirty dishes, Ben bent over and licked his chair. To the average person, this would look like a man that was unusually fond of his chair. But to you and I, it was an alpha male marking his trophy.
YOU ARE READING
2001: A Gay Odyssey
PoetryRead the heartwarming tail of a man struggling to find his identity in a world of DEATH, DOOM, and DESPAIR.