Let me start off by saying that this is a suicide note, and the only reason I'm writing this is because I have to confess my sin. I would tell someone in person, but I...I kill everyone I know. This isn't something I want to do nor something I'm proud of, but now it's a part of me that I can't control. I have to kill to live.
I'll start by admitting that I am 12 years old, and no matter what anyone says by saying I'm just a kid and I didn't know what I was doing, I did know what I was doing the entire time. I was killing people because I've learned that people can't be trusted. It doesn't matter who they are, or if you know them or not. People are only selfish monsters that will hurt you in anyway possible for their own gain. They deserve to die. That's what made me write this, because I am a part of people. No matter if I like it or not that won't change. But, I'm not like them. I have only one flaw: I am a hypocrite. If I were to just say that people do everything for their own good, I would also be saying that about myself because I am a part of the people and I was killing them for my own good, which was to make the world a better place. Even though this is a benefit for world, it is for my own selfish intent to make it perfect. Although, I am the only one who is able to see my own flaw and that's what makes me different from everyone else.
Anyway, I'm getting a bit off topic. Originally I was going to write this to confess my murderous sin, so I will stay true to my word.
This all started about a month ago when I first started fifth grade. I had just moved to a new school because our family had financial issues, so when I came to school the first day I didn't know anyone and they didn't know me. Of course I didn't have many friends at my old school because I wasn't outgoing. I was that quiet guy in the corner reading a book. The kids around me quickly picked up on that and started teasing me and calling me names. It didn't bother me at first because I knew they were being immature little brats and they weren't grown up already like me. But, everyday they bullied me again and again, and it kept getting worse.
At first it was just verbal insults, but after a couple of weeks it started getting physical to the point that I came home each day covered with new bruises, cuts, and scrapes everywhere. Of course my parents never cared. My dad was always drunk off his ass and my mom was always working, so I always ended up taking care of myself and minding my own business. Until one day, where I finally broke.
The kids in my class gathered in a small circle and started beating me up and kicking me as I just lay there on the floor. They were all laughing at me, and when I happened to look up for a split second I saw it. The whole school was around me, teachers and all, and they were all laughing at me. That was it, I could understand the kids bullying me and my own parents ignoring me because they were busy, but this was a school and the teachers weren't supposed to let this happen, especially not to a child.
I managed to escape the crowd and ran home for the rest of the day. I took my dad's pocket knife off his night stand and promised myself that if anyone gave me trouble tomorrow I wouldn't hold back.
The next day as soon as I got to school everyone was waiting for me asking me why I left early yesterday and continuing to make fun of me. My hand reached down to my pocket where I felt the bulge of the knife. I pushed my way through the kids to our teacher's desk and took the key to our room while she pretended not to notice.
Locking the door and cutting the phone line was just supposed to be a way so no one else would interfere with me and I was going to give everyone a taste of their own medicine. I never thought it would turn out how it did.
I ended up brutally murdering everyone in our class my slitting all their throats with my dad's knife. When they were all dead and their blood stained the room and my hands I looked around first in horror, then in pleasure. I had finally realized then that people would never change unless I changed them by eliminating all of them. It wasn't until late at night when I returned back home. I had killed everyone in my school. It was their fault that I suffered so I made sure they suffered too.
My dad was waiting for me. He started yelling and cursing at me for coming home so late and being covered in filth. He didn't realize that the "filth" covering me was blood from everyone I had killed today. Then he smacked me. What had I done wrong? I didn't deserve more pain, he did. I did what I did to everyone else at school, I took out the knife and stabbed him in the throat so the blade lay deep inside him. Then, I slowly dragged the blade across the front of his neck until he fell over and stopped breathing. The fact that he was drunk only made it easier because he didn't realize what was happening until it was too late.
My mom shouted from upstairs telling me to shut up and that she was trying to sleep. So when I went up there, I helped her sleep forever since that was what she wanted so bad.
I had gone into the bathroom to wash up when I saw myself in the mirror. I saw a monster covered in blood with the same look in my eyes as all the people who had hurt me. That's when I saw my flaw. I knew that if I lived, it would just be a repeat of what already happened and it wasn't what I wanted. So that is why I decided to confess my sin and ask for forgiveness (not that anyone would though). I guess I thought that when the police would come and investigate, this might clear a few things up as well. I can already hear their sirens outside so I'm afraid this is the end. If someone did take the time to read this and believes me, maybe you can change the way people act without violence. Not for selfish reasons, but for me.
Thank you and goodbye.
