MAKA POV
I woke up. Not to the sound of my alarm. I did not wake up to comforting sunlight shining through a window. I woke up just because...
My body hurt, like really hurt. Every time I looked down to see if I was ok my vision got blurry. It was like a bad dream. The edges of my conscious felt soft and warm. The feeling was the moment before you fall asleep, the hug from a long lost friend, and the touch of happiness when you need it the most. The surreal peace that surrounded me was wrong.
"Maka? Are you awake?"
This was wrong. I heard Soul. That was wrong.
It was supposed to end, I was supposed to feel good for the first time. I dug what felt like a shovel of a kitchen knife into my arms and I dug a hole in the dirt big enough for a grave. In hindsight, it was a moment of pure weakness and unprecedented courage. I felt brave. I felt true. I was me. But at the most accurately sacrosaint level, that I would never admit to even myself, I was the farthest away from being me than I ever have been. That was wrong too.
"Why did you save me if you love me?" I exasperatedly mumbled. Like I was too weak to say the words.
How could someone take something so intensely deliberate and destroy it while saying 'I love you'. That is selfish. Love is not supposed to be selfish. I knew he was thinking, I knew the face he was making. I felt guilty for saying what I did because I wholeheartedly said it without a second or even first thought. Words said without thought are supposedly the truest. I know someone as weak as him could not understand that.
"I'm sorry". He subtlely provided an answer.
"Good" I replied.
It was like I was lost. I was saying things without thinking, it was different. I was certainly not acting like myself. The person I was before the flood was weak, and after she strong.
She could handle the world. Except for love, which is almost as shadowy and lost as the person I was.
~thank you to the fan who kept commenting and inspiring me to write this, please comment suggestions for this story. This chapter was for you <3~
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Can't Lose My Cool (Soul Eater)
FanfictionMaka starts her first year at Death's academy and befriends Tsubaki. Maka and Soul start off hating each other but slowly start to discover that they have feelings for one another. Death the Kid does something horrible to Maka, which breaks her hear...
