Deadline

I never knew what authors meant when they said someone's smile didn't reach their eyes, not until a little while ago. The smile that reaches your eyes is one where the skin beside your eyes and under them crinkle up causing you to have to close your eyes a bit. But one that doesn't reach them is just you putting on a smile to make people think you're okay, and where no skin near your eyes crinkle.

I now find that after your smile stops reaching your eyes then there are two more fazes. The next is within a bit of time, you stop smiling with your teeth. You're slowly beginning to break more. Then it's where you grin and the corners of your mouth and trying to pull your lips into a frown. But you don't let them, at least not until you're alone.

This happened to me when I was an outcast to the people I thought I knew. Yet you were still there and didn't outcast me like the rest. All I had was you. I thought you and me together would bring me out of this.

But the fact is, you is no one. You are the mirror. You are the walls of my room. You are are the pillow I scream and cry into at night. You are all those things that helped keep everything to myself. You are all the things that make me happy. Yet you are all the things that hurt me too. 

But you didn't hurt me as much as I hurt myself.