Ever since he was young, Komaeda has been waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Waiting for the hands of salvation to grab him by the arms and save him from the inky black tentacles of despair. He was waiting for his savior, his hope.
He was a lucky person.
All throughout his life, Komaeda lived by pure luck. Never once had he relied on other people.
"Well," he started "no one would want trash to rely on them anyway." He'd say with a light chuckle. His words drip with cynical venom, as people walked away.
"I tried," they'd say. Did they really try? Did they really try to understand the agonizing screams for help in the depths of his distorted heart? "he doesn't want us near him."
That's right, no one should be near that lowly piece of garbage. Komaeda knew full well. Yet he yearned for what others would call an "other half" someone who could fill in the big gaping hole in his chest, someone who he could rely on, someone who could replace his luck.
He won the lottery.
A lottery for the most prestigious school in the whole of Japan, Hope's Peak Academy. A school for the best of the best. A school of hope. Komaeda didn't belong there. He was just a sad piece of crap in an ocean of elites, but he considered himself the luckiest man on the planet.
A thick layer of hope (which only his eyes could see) that enveloped the classroom made him tremble in ecstasy. He would observe the others as he basked in their competence and glory. Komaeda never viewed them as a role model. Not once has the thought crossed his mind.
'Maybe one day, I'd be just like them, maybe one day.' A foolish thought.
He wouldn't wish for the impossible. He was useless, incompetent scum, but he wasn't dumb.
Or perhaps he was?
After a few months spent, he found his eyes landing on a certain classmate of his. Her appearance stood out, so did her personality. Beautiful colours lingered behind every step she took. The passion she poured into her music reached his heart and melted it to the ground. She was the happiest of the students. Her smile beamed like the afternoon sun, her laughter rang like an alarm. Some might find it irritating, but to Komaeda, it was the most hopeful thing in the world.
There were times when he would follow her silently, admiring her from afar.
"Ibuki-san..." he breathed
He knew she had sharp ears, a part of him wanted her to hear his call, wanted her to know his feelings, but then, he didn't want her to look at him with disgusted eyes. However, even if she did, it'd be alright. As long as she keeps being in his field of vision, it doesn't matter.
Every time Ibuki heard his voice, she would shiver. She would speak even louder to cover it up. She'd pretend not to hear, not to notice.
But she did.
Ibuki, was happy, elated even, to have such a "hardcore fan" (she called him). She was grateful. Because of that, she'd hold small conversations with Komaeda from time to time. He'd always have that expression on his face. Ibuki didn't understand it at first, but as time passed, she finally knew
He was mental.
His eyes twirled with insanity. They brazenly showed his unhinged mind. It made Ibuki wonder.
'What goes on within Nagito-chan's cognitive world?'
Ibuki used a smart word.
It first started off as mere interest. Then, it flowered into pure, sweet affection. Like that of a spring day.
She'd ask schoolmates to read lyrics of her newly composed songs. There was one time when she met a junior of her's.
"Leon-chan! What do you think of Ibuki's new song "100 MILES PER SECOND" huh? Pretty awesome right? Right?"
They both shared dreams of becoming a rockstar.
"RIGHT! THEY'RE AWESOME MIODA-SENPAI! YOU'RE SERIOUSLY LIKE A PROFESSIONAL ROCKSTAR!"
At times like these, Ibuki could sense a cold and envious glare from afar. One that would send a chill down her spine. Even though it was n't directed at her.
At times like these, Komaeda would hate himself even more than he already did. How dare he have the audacity to glare at his superior, how dare he even look at them in such a way.
When Komaeda returned home that day, he sat down in the middle of his room, and let the darkness eat him away.
