Stumbling across the picture of him always hurt me. It has been a year since he said his final goodbye to me, but the wound is as fresh as ever. On the front of the polaroid scrawled in my handwriting read Wesley 07/24/16. Little did he know that I still cried over the photo. I quickly shoved the photo back into my copy of The Catcher in the Rye, and quickly put it back onto the shelf. Six months after that photo was taken, my best friend decided to leave. He thought he meant no harm to me, but now even the simplest traces of him leave a fresh wound again and again.
I quickly snapped out of my dismal trance to the sound of the front door being slammed shut. It was four thirty in the afternoon, the time my mother arrived home from work each day. "Carson, come help carry in groceries please!" my mother yelled up the stairs.
I sighed quietly and went to oblige my mother. It was a crisp autumn day outside, the leaves finally turning crimson colors. Autumn has always been my favorite season. Unfortunately, this reminded me of Wesley as well. Frequently we used to go on long walks through the large park down the road. We would always go to the same bench. The bench soon became the site of majority of our polaroid pictures that would soon haunt me. I haven't been back to the bench since the day he said goodbye.
After grabbing several bags and bringing them into the kitchen, I noticed the stack of unopened birthday cards that have been accumulating over several weeks. My mother noticed me eyeing the pile and gave me a weak smile. "Just open them already so you have some kind of closure Carson."
I nodded slightly then reached for the pile. I quickly locked myself into my room and placed the pile gently onto my desk. I didn't want to see a letter from him. On the other hand, I did. I wanted him to apologize that he made a terrible mistake leaving me. One part of me knew that I should move on. I shoved the daunting thoughts away started to go through the stack. Ten letters later, there was none from Wesley. Part of me was devastated that he didn't care anymore, another part of me was relieved.
The sun soon disappeared into the night. The next day promised more challenges with school. Luckily, he had graduated a year before me so I wouldn't have to avoid him. Senior year is supposed to be a magic year before you go into the real world. For me, this isn't the case. I kept to myself. I had a few people who checked in from time to time to see how I was. Many knew that I had become a mess since he left.
The next morning brought fog and grey sky's. My mind felt like this most of the time, groggy and hard to find your way through. I quickly got myself ready and made my way to school. It was a chilly morning, but the memories of making the trek with him made me shiver even more.
The first period bell rang, and I made my way to my usual seat next to the window. The desk to my right was always vacant. The final bell rang and there was a loud thud in the desk to my right. For a second I thought it was him, he had come back for me. That quickly wore off when I noticed the tall brunette boy in the desk next to mine. He didn't quite fit in the desk, due to the lankiness of his height.
He was different than Wesley. Wesley was an average height boy with the bluest eyes, and sandy blonde hair. He was never a fan of my dark brown hair, he would frequently comment of how he preferred if I changed my hair color. That was one of the things I never did for him. To this day I questioned if that was one of the reasons why he left.
The lanky boy beside me quickly gave me a small grin. "Sorry to scare you. You jumped like a little bird."
I gave him a very confused face, and then went back to looking out the window. "I'm Holden, and you are?"
I quietly told him Carson, and continued to look out the window. Holden didn't say anything more, but I could feel him starring into the side of my head. Quietly I whispered, "I don't appreciate you starring."
"I'm going to call you little bird from now."
"No you're not, please leave me alone too."
I wasn't ready to let anybody in yet. It still felt wrong to be looking at a smile that wasn't Wesley's. I wanted to be the reason why he smiled, but that was no longer a possibility. "Not going to happen little bird, you're stuck with me now."
Quietly again, I replied to him again. "I haven't seen you around before."
"It's my first day, we've had some family challenges so that's what brings me here. So little bird, what are you doing over here alone? I'd assume you'd have several friends around you."
I shook my head in disagreement. I hadn't had real friends around me since before Wesley left. The fact that this new boy was drawn to me was a major change to me.
"Well little bird, you have me now and I'll even be your best friend."
Holden gave me a goofy smirk while looking at me. The fear of Wesley finding out crept into my mind. He never liked me to be friendly with other guys. The thoughts disappeared from my mind quickly when the bell rang. I gathered my belongs and chased after Holden. "Hey, meet me by the front stairs after school. We can talk more later, or whatever." I quickly said.
Holden looked down at me, due to the height difference. "I'll see you then little bird."
He gave me another smile and went off to his next class. Instead of sadness and the other usual feelings I had since Wesley left, I started to feel joy once again.
Little did I know how far I'd fall for this new boy.
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A/N: I'm getting back into writing, so I'm a little rusty still. I have a lot planned for this book, so stick around! Enjoy!
