up and up the stairs i heard a bang and i never looked back

why am i addicted to this game?

why am i addicted to this game?

i am not myself today, or yesterday even.

i don't know who i am anymore.

i guess it died when i killed and silenced a man.

i don't know, i tried to remember,

but tapping these keys didn't help.

i want to go back,

i want to bring back that time when that man still breaths beside me,

i want to go back, and take that gun and pull it on my head.

how i wish i was there with you,

so that i am not alone in this game you left me in.

maybe you knew i was going to shoot,

but you couldn't. .i know it!

but looking back means death. .

but that's what i'm planning to do!

so i keep moving forward and up this spiral staircase,

i don't regret it, even when the stairs starts disappearing behind my back.

but somewhere at the back of my mind,

something screams with regret,

and i don't believe i even heard it.

****

maybe this a continuation of . . .

"did you know the silenced man?"

and

"the flight of the stairs"

or maybe not. .read it if you want to get the bigger picture. .