Youth | Lynn Gunn

Introduction

They didn't warn me when I was running wild
Dragons breathing fire in the backyard at night

What if i told you that in a matter of minutes, your life can derail? That things could turn out better or they could turn out worse, all your plans and worries are just wasted time.

That at the end of the day, these things won't matter when you are laying on your death bed at whatever age that maybe. That if you are lucky, you can fight the hell that was brought upon you.

What if i told you that at the age of nineteen that all these things that you had thought and cried over wasn't worth it? Would you listen to me or would you continue to do what you had known all these years?

My name is Miller Grey, i am your average girl at the age of nineteen. Well almost, i have one distinct factor that disconnects me from every single girl at my age.

I am one that has had her life planned out, i wanted to be married by the age of twenty five. I wanted kids before i was thirty, i wanted to be a wife to either an amazing woman or man.

I wanted tattoos, i wanted to be able to go to concerts and dance till the sun came up till i had my family that would crave that love and attention.

I wanted to go to college, better myself and be able to conquer this cruel world. I just wanted to live my best life, everything was planned out in my life.

Everything, but one thing wasn't planned out and that was at the age of eighteen that i would be finding out i have a small mass in my right leg.

One that had raised enough eyebrows to get it checked out. I should have known. I had been having pain in that leg, but i chalked it up to the fact i was in sports.

Who would have known that in just a few short years that things would pick up? Things would change and i wouldn't probably even make it to see my twenty first birthday.

I may not even be able to celebrate the tradition that everyone celebrates, being a legal adult. One that can drink and enter clubs, parties, and local bars.

Who would have known that i'm here laying on my death bed, that i would be in the hospital that would keep me away from the outside world. That i would be counting down the days till i was in heaven or whatever place that is peaceful and me no longer in pain.

It's agony living here, learning all the friends that i thought i had would change and turn against me. The boyfriend that was my best friend for the longest time would cheat on me, with someone that turned out to be better qualified for him.

Everything i had known i was loosing grip on, i had many hours to think. Countless days being spent in this small room that would be my barrier. All this time to think about the worst parts of life.

All this time to beat myself up over the countless plans in my life that were failed. I was here, my mind being my number one worst enemy.

So now that you know, would you change things or do things differently? Would you tell that person you like how much you like them? Would you continue to hide from the things that terrify you?

If i knew what i knew now, i wouldn't. I would do things differently. I wouldn't live planning out every single detail since i was sixteen. I would live life freely, i would be more free.

This my story. Sit back and listen.