Youth | Lynn Gunn

Chapter One

We live in circles
And it's so hard to breathe

The drive to the hospital was a hard one, almost like i was going away to prison for a crime that had been committed.

One that i had regretted even doing, learning. Only this wasn't a crime and this wasn't some thing i could get to go away.

It was gonna be a long recovery, it could even be a relapse if this was to go away. All these things i feared only coming into more play.

I took in the hospital, mental pictures being taken in my mind as we followed behind the nurses that lead me into the part of the hospital that i was assigned too.

"Here is your room, i will get your nurse."

I scooted the suitcase to the couch and grabbed the pillow that had a pillowcase that reminded me of home, my room that had been covered in skulls and zebra.

I clutched it to my chest and sat down on the bed. A few other teenagers walking by the window with what looked to be a group of friends. Smiles on their faces, How can they be happy in a place like this?

I placed my favorite pillow on the hospital bed, i looked around the room taking in the sight. The sound of the knock at the door causing me to jump as i held my hands together on my lap.

"Hi Miller, I'm gonna your nurse. I'm Kaci, i work with a lot of the teenagers here." The nurse spoke, her smile warm as she held her hand out.

I looked down and gulped as the reality only swallowed me whole. This really wasn't a dream, this was all real. I flashed a half smile and reached out to shake her hand.

She grabbed my suitcases and pushed them into the small closet that sat on the other side of the room. She grabbed the remotes that sat by the tv and handed them to me.

I dazed out of the hospital window, the sound of the cars honking making me shed a few tears as i began to think about the friends that i would miss.

She patted my leg and smiled, "Hey. It's okay, i know it's kinda hard to handle this all but there is all other teens that you can be around. We have groups and outings."

I looked to her and nodded, "Thanks."

"Anytime sweetie. Get some rest, okay? We start chemo tomorrow." She smiled as she waved and walked out of the room.

The silence engulfing me as i laid in the bed, the sounds of laughter from the other rooms ringing through.

The clock ticked and ticked, it seemed like the ticking was timing the moments to my death. Each moment being wasted when i could continue with my life, make something of myself.

I turned to my side and looked out the window, the tears falling down as i just sobbed for everything.

All the tears that had been held in for trying to be strong, for the things that i had hoped was a dream. A very awful dream and nightmare.

In a matter of seconds, the room had went black. The crying had stopped and the sound of the laughter, the clock ticking to my death, the time had stopped.