Green Tea Parties and Lilies: A Collection of Rather Assorted Poetry

Tears on a Broken Mirror

I look at myself in my mirror.

A reflective glass that can show yourself.

Mine is broken.

Shattered.

I stand there, just staring

At the face I thought was unlovable

The shoulders I thought were too broad

The arms I thought were too short

The stomach I thought was too round

The hips I thought were too small

The me I thought was ugly, unseemly, grotesque.

My reflection stares

I stare back

Both of us are thinking, sharing the same thoughts

Of all the time I spent lamenting the fact I wasn't pretty

I wasn't lovable like I was.

Crying tears of shame and insecurity onto a broken mirror that showed a distorted reflection.

A reflection that lied to me, my whole life.

A shattered mirror displaying a false me that wasn't me

Broken by many side comments of judgment and statements like;

"You have a big head."

"You're breaking out."

"Look at your chest size!"

"Make sure you don't eat too much sugar! You might put on more weight."

Each of these has made a crack in my mirror

And every time I look over at myself, I feel like an unprepossessing shell of fat and acne.

Because that's what my reflection shows me.

And I had the naivety to believe it was the truth.

And every time I would weep over this broken reflection

The water would collect in the cracks and run down the frame.

But something miraculous happened.

I saw a stranger, familiar but foreign as well.

They saw me and gave me a gift.

One mirror.

One word.

"Beautiful."

And that made all the difference.

Sometimes that broken reflection will stare back at me in my mirror

Shattered by many insensitive comments.

But then I remember that gift.

I pick it up.

I look into it.

As I stare at this person in the mirror, I start to smile.

Then I start to cry.

It's been so long since I've felt this way.

Since I've been able to look at myself in a speculum and think;

"I feel pretty today."