"Yes! I'm going to sing today! "
Everything was set. From past two months, we were practicing for this. "College cultural festival." It was a hot summer day of February. I was wearing a white and blue kurti, along with blue bottom and blue duppatta. I was bit nervous inside, but as usual, sported a smile. As I left hostel, and started walking, ( actually running) to the auditorium,my lips were repeating all the song lyrics. I was unaware of the outside world.
When I saw the crowd in front of stage, I swear I thought of escaping. Without giving attention to anyone I ran behind the stage. All my team members were already there. They all seemed happy. Few were busy with taking selfies. My senior shouted "Hey, where were you? Are you ready for the performance?" and handed over a bottle of water. He noticed the nervous on my face I guess. "Yaar, don't worry. I know you can do it. Be calm." He tried to calm my screaming inner voice. I threw a fake smile and took a sip.
One of my friends was getting ready for her solo dance performance. She had worn an earphone and had been remembering steps. She was going to perform then. She is a well trained classical dancer. When she got her call, I wished her luck and she moved towards stage. Obviously it was an awesome performance. She did a semi-classical fusion dance. After her performance I went backstage again and started memorizing my songs.
It was going well until our program coordinator gave the shock like bursting a fully blown balloon. Our slot had been cancelled due to the lack of time. My heart broke into pieces. Fighting my tears, I left the auditorium and reached hostel back, and burst out. Time passed so fast. I got a call from my roommate that, she is going to perform next and she begged me to come back. I got up, washed my face and walked towards the auditorium. But this time neither was I nervous nor excited. Drained down me, just walked in head bent.
I was totally tired at that night. Though I couldn't perform, I enjoyed the evening a lot. After changing dress, playing songs and lying on my bed, and started thinking about those words which changed my mood suddenly. "Who is that guy? His voice is good? And by the way too humourous. I hope I could see his face." And fell into sleep.
Days passed and I became busy with cultural events. Even though I couldn't attend the first fest, I rocked rest of the events. It was the starting of March. Our cultural events were going to end soon. That week, we had our last program, and by the way it was the biggest event as well as the cultural competition of our university, in which department wise competition would be held. I was going to appear for few solo performances as well as group events.
The first day of fest, I had my solo classical song and group song. As usual I dressed up neatly and reached the campus by 9 am. I had a little confusion in finding the stages as well as my co-singers. In between I forgot to practice my song which I had to sing alone. The campus appearance changed in one night. It was decorated with flags and posters, many tents were build in different parts of grounds. Total campus seemed colourful. Every eye was filled with competition spirit and excitement. I felt like all eyes were staring at me. Mean while my phone rang. It was my friend
"Hey, where are you? The program is about to start. Come fast. It's happening in the AC seminar hall above the library."
"Yes, I'm on my way." I cut the call and ran to the library. When I opened the door all turned and gave a weird look, as I was the last to barge in. I registered my name there and sat on a chair next to the wall facing the stage. I was shivering and couldn't breathe properly. Hardly had I needed some water otherwise I can't able to sing.
"Do you want water?"
Suddenly some voice came from the back seat. A tall, thin, fair, and by the way good looking guy offered me a bottle. He was wearing a violet colour shirt and holding an expensive camera with him. He seemed to be a senior and I was bit scared to talk with seniors. Because they always gave such a scary looks. But at that moment water was necessary for me. I thanked him and took the bottle with a sweet smile on face. He smiled me back and got back into his work. "Yes! I know him. But I don't remember where I have seen him. That voice is familiar for me. Whatever." I said myself and drank the complete water. Again I thanked him and went upon the stage. I sang well but, my voice was terrible because of tension and my face looked nervous. I just closed my eyes and felt the notes, pitches. Somehow I completed my singing and came down. I searched for that guy who gave me water. I just want to ask his opinion about my song. But, I couldn't find him, so I left the hall and moved to another hall to watch my classmate's performance. He was going to sing some fusion solo in both English and Hindi. Obviously, he was a good singer as well as my good friend. And next we were going to perform in group together.
After his performance we both moved to the main stage where the next program was to be held, and in which we had to take part. While we were crossing the library building that senior guy came opposite to us and suddenly stopped in front of me. "You sang well, and I think you have got some prize. Just go and check it out once. Anyway congrats." I was bit surprised and happy. I didn't know how to respond. Still, I shook hands with him and thanked him. He smile again and I gave a smile back and ran away from his eyes. I didn't know what he was thinking about. He might have thought that 'I was a mad' or 'respect less girl'. But, at that time I just wanted to know whether 'he uttered the truth or just pranked like any other senior'.
I entered the hall and the entire crowd started staring at me. But this time they seemed pleasant. The judges called me forward and handed over a trophy. I got shocked 'He was right! Seriously! I got third prize!' I couldn't control my happiness as well as I was confused. 'If I find him again, I should thank him and apologize him for the rude behaviour.'
That night we had group dance competition and surprisingly he was the host for the event. Then I remembered something 'Yes! He is the one whose voice I heard on that day. My first college fest.' I got surprised 'How can I forget him'. That night went amazing and we were tired a lot.
'OMG! It's already 8! I have to reach there. Practicing sessions will start by morning 7 itself'.
I grabbed my college ID card and ran towards my department building. Practice was going on the second floor of the building . I ran through the steps when I heard my friends singing there. All my team members were unhappy and the team leader was ready to burn me alive with his looks. We had to perform that night, in front of a huge crowd and if we made any mistake our program coordinator would screw us.
I sat for a while and then began to sing. I sounded perfect and I was much confident about our team, as we were a group of talented students of our college. We completed our practice by the time of lunch and I went to hostel. I was about to start my lunch I got a call from my department head that program coordinator was waiting for me in her cabin. I left my lunch and ran to her cabin and she scolded me for coming late. She ordered me to sing a prayer song in the felicitation event that was going to happen in the open ground before our musical performance. In that prizes would be distributed by the chief guest. 'Oh God! In front of higher officials, open stage, I have to sing, alone!' it was a heart stopping moment for me. I ran to my room and changed myself into a grand party wear, which was horrible to handle in that hot summer. But, I had to look grand and perfect. Sharp 3.30 I reached near to the stage. My heart started beating fast when I saw my complete college in front of me. Students, parents, staff, higher officials from director board and the chief guest of the event. All gathered here and the host announced my name for prayer song. He pulled me towards the mike and the coordinator gave me signal that 'I should sing now'. I just closed my eyes, took a deep breath and started in a mild voice. Complete silent, whole crowd sunk in it. I could hear my voice from the huge speakers kept around me. Only my voice.
'Finally, I did it' while getting down from the stage I took a deep breath and look at coordinator's face. He seemed to be satisfied. I smiled and got down the stage. I met him again. Yes! my senior. Yes i found his details from his classmates already. But, I didn't have the guts to go and talk. I ran away from there and tried to hide myself from his sight. Then it was the time to perform. We rocked the night. One of the best performance I had ever given in this college. 'Oh God ! I was exhausted!' but, still happy.
Next morning after events was like morning after alcoholic party. Hangover and lazy to wake up. Still I woke up, and sat asusual with hot coffee and phone. I was scrolling newsfeed, when suddenly I remembered him ' Yes! My so called senior' I started searching for his account. After several attempts, crossing similarities, I landed in his account. 'Shall i send request? No. how can I? But why not? Whatever! i am going to send.' I had to do a lot of convincing before clicking the add friend button. I dropped a messaged in his inbox,
"Hello, I hope you remember me. I just need the pictured of mine, which you have clicked on these two days. Don't mistake me." And I went offline. After few hours , I came back and I was scared to open facebook. 'Wow! He replied' I was in confusion 'how to continue this conversation' but that conversation lasted long. It logged out of facebook . More chats, calls, meetings and so on. So called senior became my bestie.
"Please. Listen to me you were my best friend, you are my best friend, and you will be forever." I tried to convince him.
"I don't know. But, sometimes I feel like you are getting addicted to me."
He had the right to think, he was going to leave this college in a while. And I was upset because of that. The only thing he wanted was my happiness. 'I think I can't, but I can try for him.'
He was not ready to understand my side and the long conversation ended up with a huge fight and rumours that we were in relationship and now got break up. And that news really broke our friendship forever and my heart broke into pieces.
Almost every fight left us with tears in eyes, then he was about to leave, and I wanted to give a happy farewell to him and we decided to meet on that evening in front of our library, were we used to meet usually. He was with his gang and i went with my girls squad as we all were common friends. But, it was the most painful moment for me 'hey , your soul is leaving you, your shadow, your best friend forever, you stupid girl don't cry. Smile.'
Of course I managed to keep a smile on my face. And he shook hands with me for the last time and said " So, I'm leaving. No more coffee, no more ride and stupid silly fights. I don't know when we will meet again ,I hope you will stay happy here, and promise me that you won't cry anymore. And I'm sorry if I hurted you any time. Bye."
'don't cry stupid. Control yourself and let him go. Now it is the time to move on. I can understand he is going with a misunderstanding and he is not going to talk with you anymore. Still say bye idiot.' I scolded myself and smiled at him, the story began with a 'hi' and a smile, and it's going to be end with a 'bye' and smile. I left him and he moved towards the huge main gate of our college. My eyes stared at him till he went out of my sight. When he vanished in front of my eyes, it started watering automatically and I couldn't stop it. I turned back and ran to my room and sat speechless. 'why? Can't you say? He is special always? He left! Stop crying' unknowingly fell asleep.
It 's going to be one month since his departure. We didn't talk ,not even sent or received a single message, since then. Today is my last working day of this semester and I miss him badly. Classes were boring. I left the class and reached library. Books are my first love always, but today, they couldn't keep company. I check my phone, for the millionth time. He is coming today ,along with his friend. I lose my patience. At last I call him,
"hey, tell me"
"idiot, where are you? When will you reach here?"
"wait, just 20 minutes, we are on our way, wait inside canteen."
"ok, come fast"
I cut the call and go out of the library. I, lost in thoughts, walk down the road. My red dupatta is flying in air and I keep playing with my pen. Many waved at me, but I just gave them a 'I don't care' look. I stopped at our famous college canteen, where I used to hangout with him, laugh with him, and fight with him. Many of our memories lie inside four walls of our so called cafeteria, which we never considered as one.
"hello"
Here he is, in front of me, alive. He has come with his gang and all of them are my friends. I smile at everyone. Everyone looked little different, he has too changed a lot, not by character, but the physique.
"hey, idiot, what is this? Such a boring look man! Come let's sit and talk"
"whatever, I don't care. Come"
And once more, a loooooonnnnngggggg conversation. Even after a long reason less fight. We take this opportunity to recall all our immature crazy memories we had together. Around 2 or 3 hours it went on and again time to leave. But this time we both are happy, no worries, no doubts. Only we have few words to say. And he speaks out those which he didn't say while he left me on that day.
"I know, we had a lots of misunderstanding, a huge fight. All because I felt like a girl and boy can't be best friends forever. And I am sorry for hurting you. I am happy for you. You proved me wrong, you kept your words. You are not a good friend, you are a good person I met in my life. And i am going to miss you. Be like this always. We will meet sometimes definitely. Bye, but for a while, not forever."
"Yes! A girl and boy can be friends forever! And we proved!"
