I stay in the shower until I can no longer feel the burning sensation on my skin.
When I step out, the mirror is completely clouded over and the air is so thick my lungs begin to fill. I gather my clothes from the floor and head back to my room.
The cold air nips at my dripping skin and raises the flesh on my whole body. I shiver and fight the temptation to climb back into my still warm covers. I look at my bed longingly and debate whether or not to hurt Alyssa's feelings by skipping the party.
A voice behind me startles me and I take a step forward before turning around to face the direction of the voice.
"Lexi if you get back in that bed I swear to God will drag you out by your feet I am dead serious," Alyssa eyes me.
I sigh and wrap the tattered and almost too- worn towel tighter around my body. My lower lip shakes as I reach out to take the mug Alyssa is offering me. I look out the window to avoid conversing; there will be too much of that in a few hours.
I feel sick just thinking about going to the party. I would normally be the first one ready but after the catastrophic turn my life has just taken, I don't think I'm ready to see anyone, especially not Reid.
"LEX! EARTH TO ALEXIS."
I look up to see Alyssa standing at the door next to a long silver rack filled with dresses, something that looked like it belonged behind a runway, not in my messy room.
"Oh uh sorry, I guess I zoned out again," I mutter in apology.
"Okay so as I was saying," Alyssa dives right back into her spiel about the coordination of dress color and the lighting as if she was never interrupted.
"So.. what does this have to do with me again?" I play with my hands anxiously as she stops talking and knits her brows together.
"LEX! Pay attention! This is my birthday yeah sure BUT it is also the most important function of the year and this has to go exactly according to plan or my mother will kill me. We have to raise over one million tonight alone, and no one will fork over their cash if they don't like what they see, are you getting what I'm hinting at?" she gestures at the rack of expensive items of clothing once again.
"Your parents invited their friends too? All those old people? To your 18th birthday party?"
Alyssa laughs and her eyes scrunch up into slits, "First of all, the dinner part will be the only time we're with the quote old people, afterward we can go to the roof for my actual party. And second, those "old" men happen to have a hell of a lot more money than they know what to do with. They will more happily wrote the big checks to the girls with a bit more skin showing, you feel?"
"You're sick," I laugh a little alongside her as I stand up to look through the rack.
The dresses are separated in the middle with a big fluffy feather boa that appears to belong in the closet of a woman from the 20's. The left side of the boa is marked "Alyssa" and the right says "Alexis". I grimace at the name she chose for me.
The dresses she gave me to choose from are all dark colors that end around mid-thigh. Alyssa grabs a baby blue one from her side and rushes to try it on in my closet.
"Lyss.. these are all too short.. I don't want to go. Please don't make me," I whine.
"Try one on Lexi, I promise you'll change your mind. Come on, just grab the first one you see," her voice gets louder as she steps out of the closet and spins in front of the mirror.
I walk into the changing closet with every black dress that was on my side of the silver rack and a facial expression somewhere between a scowl and a frown. My shoulders slump over as if the weight of the world has just fallen into my possession. I take a breath and drop my dampened towel to pull on the first dress in the pile. The tedious work of picking a dress that would fit Alyssa's standards has only just begun.
-
I check my makeup in the mirror and call up to Alyssa for the third time.
"Lyss! If you don't get down here right now we are going to be late. TO YOUR OWN PARTY," I frustratedly tear through my bag again to double check that I have everything I need, and one hundred dollars in cash just in case. "One that I really don't want to go to anyway," I mutter under my breath.
Alyssa flounces down the stairs and passes by me, allowing her vanilla perfume to invade my senses as she grabs my arm.
"Fashionably late, might I add?" She winks and pulls me out the door where a grand white limo waits to take us to our destination.
Ray, Alyssa's family chauffeur, opens the door for us and I attempt to smile in thanks. My heart pounds as I take a seat in the limo at the thought of being in the public's eye once again, after three weeks of my "disappearance".
I switch off from fiddling with my hands to rolling the window down and back up, over and over, keeping me in a trance that allowed me to forget everything as I watch the darkened glass reappear before hiding once again. The tapping of Alyssa's fake nails alert me to the fact that she is texting again.
Probably texting her boyfriend. My chest feels as if it could cave in any second just thinking about the word boyfriend. Even if that word was abolished from the English language, then I would still hide in fear of the obliteration that follows any romantic relationship.
She catches me watching her intently and shoots me a strange look. I immediately tear my eyes away from her perfection and will myself not to cry again.
"Lexi. Look at me," she demands. I don't look at her, instead my attention snaps back down to my fiddling fingers that rest in my lap. "Hey. Don't do this all night okay? Get a hold of yourself for a few hours and go have some fun. Don't ruin my night just because you want to walk around with your head down and your mind stuck in the past. This is the night that you will get over him. GET OVER IT LEXI. Just. Please. Don't make my birthday suck just because your head is too far up your own fucking ass."
Her words sink in slowly and I fight the urge to cry for what seems like the tenth time in the past hour. Why would she say that to me? Am I really that bad of a friend? Oh my god. I look up slightly, only to find her eyebrows knit together in anger and her fingers flying over her smartphone screen.
I reach into the fridge and pull out an Evian, gulping it down in an attempt to wash the lump away. I can feel Alyssa glaring at me from across the table but I don't give her the satisfaction of seeing the effect that her hurtful words have on my face. I hold everything in and push it way down, like I always do, and grip my bottle tighter. As soon as the limo stops I hold my breath and wait for Ray to open the door. I knew this night was a bad idea to begin with. I have a bad feeling this isn't going to go at all as planned.
-
AN
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT #ZOUISPASSMETHATBLUNT OMOGMOGMGOGMOGMGOMGGMGOGMGOMGOG I LOVE THIS FANDOM SO MUCH
anyway good luck on your finals/exams I love you all!!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE READING
Bloom
Fanfiction"I was only using you to forget everything, Harry. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you. You weren't supposed to make me feel this way."
