The Sexy Cat Mermaid

The Sexy Cat Mermaid

By: Nikale Pieters

Once upon a time there was a girl named Sassy.

Sassy was head over heels in love with Prince Sexy Beast.

But Sassy had a major dilemma, she wasn't the same species as her prince *gasps gasps everywhere*

Yes, 'tis the truth. Sassy was a cat-mermaid while Prince Sexy Beast was a mere human.

Sassy stalked Prince Sexy all of the time and one day he actually saw her.

"Who are you?" He said

"I'm Sassy" She said.

"I'm Sexy" He said.

"Yes you are" She said.

And then they talked and talked about kittens and yolo until there was a zombie apocalypse and Noah the zombie killer came into the picture and pushed Prince Sexy Beast into the water nearly drowning him.

"Ha! yolo bitch!" Said Noah and went to kill some more zombies with his bffs Cake and Nikale (Nikale was the awesomest person alive and everyone thought Noah in love with her but she would never be with a stupid peasant like him even though he did have a sexy voice, cute hair, and AWESOME taste in clothing-- as once stated in a secret admirer letter to him--haha jk).

Sassy swam after Prince Sexy Beast and tried to save him. She grabbed him and brought him back up to the surface and went back home.

Prince Sexy Beast awoke twenty million hours later to the sounds of Ricardo the chocolate pegasus and Brad Pitt the blonde jerk shouting his name.

"Sexy, Sexy! Wake up!" They said.

"What, where's the nutella?" He said.

"Up your butt around the corner!" They said.

"That makes sense!" He said.

And then Prince Sexy Beast explained to his loyal subjects that he was in love with Sassy the sexy cat-mermaid.

And of course Ricardo and Brad Pitt did not question him one bit and immediately went on a search for this mystery mermaid.

Meanwhile, under the sea...

Nikale was an evil (but also quite swag) sea witch whom Sassy's parents told her to stay away from (but obviously Sassy didn't listen).

"Hai Nikale" Sassy said.

"Hayyyy Gurlll how chu doin'" Nikale said.

"Well... I'm alright but I met this human prince named Sexy Beast and he so fine I mean when I saw him I was all like 'Dat Ass'" Sassy said.

"Oh, well I can help you be with him! Bibbity bobbity boo and now you're human!" Nikale said.

"Thank-" Sassy said before she realized she could no longer breathe underwater and swam for the surface.

"Oh and by the way! Your price to pay for me making you human is that Prince Sexy Beast won't be able to see you!" Said Nikale (but Sassy didn't hear her).

So Sassy got to the surface and she magically had clothes on (because this is a disney movie so deal with it)

Ricardo the chocolate pegasus saw Sassy and immediately recognized her as the girl Prince Sexy Beast was looking for.

"Hey, Hey you! Random chick in the water!" Ricardo said.

"Are you looking for Sexy Beast?" Ricardo said.

"Um, hell yeah! Where is that boy?" Sassy said.

Ricardo the chocolate pegasus then smacked Sassy across the face for no reason and led her to Prince Sexy Beast.

"Sexy, Sexy! I found your girl!" Ricardo said.

Prince Sexy Beast came barreling down the stairs wearing a dress,

"Where????" Sexy Beast said.

"Why are you wearing a dress?" Ricardo said.

"You have your hobbies and I have mine." Sexy Beast said.

"Okay..." Ricardo said.

"Now where's Sassy?" Sexy Beast said.

"Dude... she's right here." Ricardo said.

"NO SHE'S NOT! DON'T JOKE WITH ME d THIS!" Sexy Beast said.

Sexy Beast then started crying and Sassy kissed him in the moonlight (because there was no roof on his castle) and they had little European babies and then they all turned into Sexy Cat Mermaids and swam away so nothing discouraged them ever again because every disney story has a happy ending.

The End.

Noah: Oh no you don't! All of my stories have ended with my mom dying and my girlfriend getting stabbed so there is NO way I'm letting these people be happy!

*Noah goes and hunts down Sexy Beast and Sassy and their children and feeds them to the zombies and kills the zombies and gives the zombies to Nikale so she can make awesome potion thingamajiggers with no point but she gives to everyone just for the hell of it*

Noah: okay, NOW it's....

THE END.

Nikale: Actually it's NEVER THE END (I shit you not).

Cake: oh yeah?

*Cake blows up the entire world*

THE END.