A Sort Of Happiness

Hey any readers :D Second short story!! Whoo! But it is sad and violent just warning. If you would like to let me know what you think that would be really awesome :D

'Happiness is... I have no idea what true happiness is' I thought. I have been sitting at my desk for the past ten minutes trying to think what true happiness is for me or any happy moments from my life. I don't know what makes me happy. I put my head on the desk. My teacher, Mrs Jackson, was giving people ideas as to what to write down for their happiness. "You could say a day out with your friends as what makes you happy" Mrs Jackson said. She was now right behind me. I wrote down that suggestion. It was a total lie but everyone puts up pretences. Even me. "Mr Simmons, what have you written down?" Mrs Jackson asked. "Eh... I said hanging around with my friends for a day" I said and put a big fake smile on my face. I am anything but happy. My whole life has been anything but happy. Mrs Jackson seemed convinced with my answer. She continued to ask the rest of my classmates their answers. I heard things like: my family, my home, my pets and my partner. I have none of them, my happiness was shattered before I could even remember. I  envied everyone in that classroom. I jumped from my thoughts when the school bell rang. 'Stupid, secondary school' I thought. My "friend", Jay, came up to me and playfully punched me on the arm. I flinched. I was still very sore. "Hey man, nice answer" Jay said and chuckled. "Come on! It's last class of the day!! Whoop!! Let's goooo" he said and ran from the classroom. 'I wish I could stay in school longer' I thought. I walked out of my class to go to my next class. 'Yay, I have History!' I thought sarcastically. I made my way to the classroom. 'Great, I'm late. The joy!' I thought yet again sarcastically. I opened the door and walked in.

 

"Mr Axel Simmons late to my class again, I see." Mr Gout said with a frown on his face. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir" I said. It's best to answer and be polite. The punishment isn't as bad then. "Very well, then. Go take your seat, Axel" Mr Gout said with a small smile. When I got to my seat, I sighed in relief. A detention would turn out really bad for me. I paid attention for the whole class just because he didn't give me a detention. When the bell rang, I ran to my locker."Hi, Axel. How are you?". I turned around to see Kim. Kim to my eyes was the most gorgeous girl in school. I would love to go on a date with her but I'm too afraid and they would never let me go. "Hey, I have to go sorry" I said while taking the book I needed out of my locker. I near enough ran away from her. I could see the hurt and disappointment on her beautiful face. I'm used to that look but it always hurt me when I know I caused it. I ran out of the school to get the bus but to my horror the bus was leaving. I could feel my body tense as I panicked. 'This is going to be one of the worst nights of my life' I thought sadly. I walked over to the bus stop. There was another bus in half an hour. I just stood there, looking at my surroundings. I have no phone or iPod so that's all I can do. The bus finally turned up and I got on. When I got off the bus I could see the house.

 

I was slightly shaking in fear. I slumped my shoulders and walked up to the house. I took my keys out and opened the door. I put my bag by the coat rack. "WHY ARE YOU LATE?!" screamed my 'father' as he threw the TV remote at me. I let the remote hit me. I knew better than to block it. "ANSWER ME!!" he was going purple with anger. I stayed quiet. 'This will only be harder if you do answer' I thought to myself. "WHERE WERE YOU?? YOU UNGRATEFUL DISGRACE OF A CHILD!!!" he continued to scream while he beat me. I stood there, well tried to, and took the beating. When he was done and I was on the floor crying silently, he walked away. I crawled up the stairs to 'my room'. All that was there was a bed and a wardrobe. I sat on the bed and thought about telling Jay but I don't think he'll understand. 'Nobody will ever understand. I can't open up to anyone. My reputation will be ruined and nobody will ever talk to me again. I have to pretend everything is fine. That is the only thing I have. My pretence.' I thought. The next thing I heard was my 'father'. I could hear my 'mother' fuming to him as he called me. I walked down the stairs.  

 

"Did you steal your mothers money?" he said unusually calm. "No" I said quietly. "YOU LIAR!!" she screamed and threw a vase at me. Then both of my 'parents' hurt me worse than they ever have before. The vase had cut me and after the beating  the cuts were still bleeding. My younger brother walked into the room holding a fifty euro(€50) note in his hand. That was why my 'parents' had stopped. "I found this in the front garden" he said and handed the money over to her. "Oh, I must have dropped it. Thank you, son" she said sweetly. My 'parents' walked away then. My brother, Daniel, walked over to help me up. I held up a hand to stop him. I heaved myself, still bleeding, off the floor and up the stairs. I walked to my wardrobe and took out a razor.

 

 

 

 I walked over and sat on the bed. I haven't done this in years. 'I don't know why I stopped' I thought. My 'father' walked in just as I was about to cut my arm. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" he screamed. He came over and grabbed my arm and pulled me up. I winced and whimpered. He punched me in the stomach and I doubled over in pain. My body was in so much pain right now, I doubt I'll feel the rest of the beating. I didn't get up, I made that mistake when I was four. I felt like I could stand up for myself. It was the worst mistake ever. He was glaring at me right now. I curled my body so that my knees were at my chest. He continued to beat me. After a while, he went downstairs. He was angry. 'Probably doesn't want anyone else to hit his punching bag' I thought sarcastically. He barged back into the room. His whole body was tense and he looked crazed.

 

 

"If you wanted to bleed so much you should of just asked" he said, calmly. He looked like he could kill me. He ran at me. I didn't move. I couldn't move. I couldn't feel the pain. My body was numb. I saw him pull his hand from behind his back. I saw the gleam of a knife. I felt the knife go into my skin but there was no pain. He stabbed me repeatedly. I could feel myself slipping into darkness. Just as I was about to embrace the darkness, I heard my 'mother' walk into the room. I saw her come over and she banged my head off of the floor repeatedly. I finally embraced darkness. It was the best decision I've made in my life. The darkness would never let me go back. It would protect me. I was finally safe from everyone. I didn't have to go back. I was finally free. I finally had a true moment of happiness. I finally have a real answer for Mrs Jackson. My happiness is the peacefulness the darkness brings. I'm finally at peace.