Liliana Mae Rosa Shelby // A Thomas Shelby Fanfiction // UNDER EDITING

8- TO GO TO WAR

"Please don't make this any harder than it already is," Tommy begged, his eyes puppy like and his lip quivering. 

"You fucking enlisted!" Bella screamed, her hands shaking and tears falling uncontrollably. "You're gonna leave me, husband-less, fucking daughterless," she cried, keeping her distance from her husband. "What about Olivia? Eh, what about our fucking child?" 

"Don't," Tommy seethed, his heart breaking at the mention of Liliana and Olivia. Olivia was three and was their miracle baby. Tommy was skeptical at first, worried that Olivia was a void to fill in Bella's heart, but she loved her more than life itself. It was hard for them to continue on without their baby, but no matter how far she was, whether in the arms of a new set of parents or in the arms of an angel, she was loved more than she would ever know and was the flame that kept burning in their hearts.

Olivia was born on a cold night in December, the snow falling on the streets of Small Heath. When Polly passed Isabella her baby girl, it was like deja vu. Only five years earlier had she given birth to Liliana, the pride she felt when she was told it was a little girl overwhelming her. Bella had the same smug look on her face when they were told it was a girl the second time around, knowing Tommy was praying for a boy. Nevertheless, he was grateful he could become a father again to the most precious and beautiful girl. Olivia was born with Tommy's bright blue eyes, and as soon as he laid eyes on her, his whole life changed. Liliana was no doubt Bella's double with traits of Tommy in her, but Olivia was her father's twin with traits of Bella in her. She was the most beautiful and though it was a euphoric moment, their hearts began to hurt knowing she didn't have her big sister around. All they could think about was how happy Liliana would have been knowing she had a baby sister, and what a great big sister she would have been. 

Collapsing in a fit of tears on the floor, heartbreak seeping through her veins, Isabella broke. With hands curled into fists against the floor, she poured her heart out. Tommy couldn't quite make out what his wife was saying, but he didn't need to know. Slowly, he walked over to his wife and knelt down, ushering her towards him. Grabbing her arms, he lifted her weight onto his and let her sob into his shoulder. 

Liliana had been gone for four years, and still, there was nothing. Polly had told the pair not two weeks earlier that word had gone around the neighboring villages of Small heath that Liliana had been placed in foster care elsewhere in the country and it was more than likely she had been placed for adoption. Contact hadn't been made with her, no letters, no phone calls, no sightings. She was merely a name that passed from one mouth to the other that spread like a disease around Birmingham. 

Although it brought some comfort to Isabella and Tommy that she was being cared for, Isabella almost wished that she was dead. Someone else was looking after her baby, someone else was kissing, cuddling, nurturing her baby, another woman was being called mummy by her baby. It didn't seem right, and the punishment she and her husband were getting was worse than any grief they could have imagined. 

Tommy, being Tommy, had enlisted in the war as a distraction and for his pride. His country needed him and Thomas felt it was his obligation to do some good in this world. Lord knows he had done some fucked up stuff in his time, some of which he regretted, but he deserved the chance to be a father and that was taken from him. His daughter needed him, which he knew deep down, but she wasn't there to cry to him. She wasn't there to run up and jump on him after school, or to climb in bed on his side just for an extra cuddle from daddy. The thought of another man getting that luxury made him feel physically sick, and he no longer wanted to feel useless, he wanted to feel needed, he needed to feel needed.