lonely flower

7 | 💓

[i'm in chorus now, aye!]

okay so, i'm always so nervous around my chorus teacher and i have no idea why. 🤭 it's not going to make any sense, so just bare w/ me. i'm not gay or bi but just listen to the stuff that happens every day in that class. 🤷🏽‍♀️ that's all i can think of. okay, bye.
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i walked to class and got my folder and sat down and then when we started singing warm ups and i could've sworn she was just staring at me.

that lady stay staring at me when we sing or sight read. 🙄 i hate it, omg. it makes me so uncomfortable.

every time i looked up from the floor, she would just be watching me sing. 😭💀

and then we moved on to sight reading and we were singing it one time and she moved back so she could watch me. girl, she tried to make that move less obvious. 😭

no. 🙄 it was very obvious. she would look at me every few seconds and i hated it. omg it makes me so nervous when she does that. and then she put another one up there and she told us to practice it out loud and she was like,

"make a lot of noise. it makes it more comfortable for people to sing."

we all know who she was talking about — me. 🙄 bruh, it's like she can read me and my emotions like WTH...

it creeps me tf out.

and then she told us she was going to start and she was like,

"i'm going to sit right..." and she looked like she was going to sit on the front row by this girl — one empty seat away from me — and i got so scared like omg.

i was thinking in my head, 'you better not, you better not.'

and she passed me and Meme said my name and i started laughing and so did ms thomas. it's like she heard her. lol.

and then we sung it and i felt so bad bc i knew she was looking at me. 😭 and then she got up and said we sounded so good and she was going to walk to the middle but then she stopped and said that two people needed to move to the front.

and she stopped, like, right in front of me and omg i got so still bc i hate when she does that shii. 😭 she knows that makes me uncomfortable when she stands really close to me, yet she does it anyway.

and then i looked up at her like twice and she was so close to my eyes. 😭 i know she felt me looking. she just didn't look because she didn't want me to look away, probably. and then i looked at her again and then she moved in front of Meme and i started moving around then.

lmao, she knows i'm shy asf around her. 🤦🏻‍♂️

and then the people moved up but no one sat by me and she walked away but looked at the chair. lmao, it was like she wanted someone to sit by me — because she knew i would sing out more if i had someone sitting by me.

this lady be reading me like an open book and that's why i hate when she looks at me. 🙅🏻‍♂️

and then we started singing and she went right in front of me again — when we were doing the star spangled banner. and then we sung the irish blessing and she said we sounded really good. 😭😍❤️

and then after we finished, she said we were done and i went into the snack cart room. and then ms parker walked into the room and she walked up to me and did something and i smiled and she smiled and was like,

"i'm sorry, i just like messing with you."

and then she said excuse me because i was in her way but she said it so nice. 😭❤️ and then she was looking for something and then Meme came in and she had food and she was saying how she was happy and ms parker said,

"you're just going to rub it in our faces? something smells good, oh, it's me."

and i laughed and then she heated it up and ms. parker started sniffing the air and i looked at her and i started laughing and she started laughing too and was like,

"it smells good." 😂💓

and then she said excuse me again because i was in her way and she was smiling at me and then she left and then we all stayed in the room until it was time to go. and these girls were in there with me and Meme and it was so funny. 😂 and then the bell rung and Meme started talking to ms. thomas so i got my stuff and left.
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that — up there 👆🏾— doesn't sound like a crush, right? 🙅🏻‍♂️ cause i'm not gay, at all, so... idk. tell me what you think.

bye felicia.