What would you do? (A Bastille/ Dan Smith fanfic)

60. Louise

DAN’S P.O.V.

What do I do? Do I run away? No, she’s already seen me. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck! As she neared closer she began to smile softly, only making my heart beat faster.

“Dan.” She said as she stood facing me, the pushchair in between us. I looked down at the pram and then back at her and repeated that action many times, confusion taking over.

“Louise.” I looked up at the woman who I had loved two years ago. The one that had been stolen from me by that dick head Johnny. Then I looked over at Ally, realisation setting into her face as she remembered where she had heard that name from. “Ally this is Louise, Louise this is Ally.” I quickly introduced the pair and they exchanged polite smiles.

“Ermm, we’ve met. And I need to start work. See you later.” Ally quickly excused herself, leaving me alone with Louise.

“Ally’s your girlfriend?” Louise asked and I slowly nodded, still totally confused.

“How do you know her?” I slowly muttered.

“Oh I just met her here yesterday.” I nodded again and looked down at my shoes. We were both stood in silence for a while until we were interrupted by her child shouting for her juice. She quickly sorted out her needs and then looked back up at me. “Er, Dan this is Ellie.” She quietly said.

I could barely say anything, instead I was staring at the young girl, studying her. She couldn’t be mine, could she?

“Dan, you clearly don’t know what to do by this situation and so just forget you saw me. I’ll remember not to come here in the future. Bye.” Louise turned the pushchair and began to walk off when I suddenly became active again.

“Shit, no, wait.” I said grabbing Louise’s arm gently. “Er, can we talk?”

“Is there much to say?” She sighed.

I looked down at the child and then back at Louise. “Yes, Louise. I think you’ve got plenty of stuff to tell me!” She nodded as we sat down at one of the tables. I glanced across the room and saw Ally behind the counter talking to Seth but looking over at me and Louise. After even more awkward silence I began to speak. “So, you going to talk?”

“Errrm.” Louise mumbled quietly, clearly as unsure of what to do as I was right now.

“Is she mine?” I whispered, nodding my head towards the child, who was too busy playing with her bottle of juice to care what her mum was talking about.

“I honestly don’t know, Dan.”

That might as well have been a yes. Just like that I felt my whole world crumble around me. Everything would change if I was this girl’s father. “How can you not know?”

“Dan, you know the situation that we went through. It’s either you or Johnny. I can’t be definitely sure but look at her, she’s the spitting image of you.”

“Did you not think I had the right to know? What about her?” I pointed towards the child. “She has a right to know too.”

“I… I thought you didn’t want to speak to me again. I just assumed it would be Johnny’s seeing as I was with him at the time that I found out I was pregnant. But the dates were messed up and I’ve never been 100% sure. Johnny’s name is on her certificate but he’s only ever seen her once. I thought that there was no point in bothering you, I would never see you again.”

“But it’s a child’s life in your hands, Lou! It’s my life too! Do you not think I would have wanted to know my daughter if she was mine?!” I whisper-shouted.

“I’m sorry Dan, for everything. I messed up real bad with you, I know that.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“But you look happy now, Ally’s great. And I keep seeing the band’s name plastered everywhere as well. Congratulations, I always knew you would make it!”

“Yeah, the band’s good.” I said, bluntly. I didn’t really want to mention that we were in fact meant to be on tour right now if it wasn’t for my relapse. "But stop trying to change the topic, we need to speak about this."

Louise sighed and looked impatiently at her watch. “Look, I have to go, I was meant to meet my mum ten minutes ago. But I know we need to talk about this, call me and we can sort out things. I still have the same number if you’ve still got it?” I nodded silently. “Well, bye Dan.”

“Bye Dan!” Louise’s daughter screamed out, waving frantically. I couldn’t help but smile at the young girl. She was undeniably cute and seemed pretty well behaved. I just wish she was a few months younger so it eliminated the possibility of me being her father. On top of everything right now, a child with my ex isn’t exactly what I need.

ALLY’S P.O.V.

I stood in front of Seth whilst he blabbed on about some crap which I really wasn’t listening to, I was too busy staring over at Dan and Louise and trying to hear their conversation but they were just slightly out of earshot. I tapped my foot nervously as I watched the two of them talk. Dan was barely speaking, instead a shocked look was plastered on his face. I let out a deep breath, which I didn’t even realise I was holding, as Louise stood up and left.

“You haven’t been listening to a word I’ve said, have you?” Seth said as he poked my arm.

“No, sorry. Seth I need to talk to Dan.”

“Uhh okay.” Seth shrugged and got his phone out of his pocket. I learnt yesterday that the place never really gets busy until gone 11 and so the first few hours were usually just full of standing around talking and serving the occasional customer.

I approached Dan who was sat at a booth with his head in his hand. He looked up at me as I neared him and he shuffled over in his seat and held his arm up, signalling for me to join him. We were silent for a few moments before I finally spoke. “I didn’t realise that was THE Louise.”

He let out a sigh. “Yep, that’s her.”

“And her child?” Dan looked up at me and met my gaze. “And your child?”

“Possibly.” My worries were pretty much confirmed and I was honestly speechless. Dan has a child. No, Dan might have a child. Everything would change if this was true. He would leave me. He would go back to her and they would play happy families and he would forget about me.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Dan wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “Ally, I had no idea I promise.”

I caught his eye again and held his hand. “No, I know. I never thought you did. I know that you’re a decent man and if this child is yours then you would have been spending time with her.”

“I just feel like a fucking idiot. How could I not have known that she has a child?! Al, what if she’s mine and I’ve missed nearly two years of her life. I’m a stranger to her.”

“Dan, how were you to know? She fucked you around and then you never wanted to see her again. She’s the selfish one for keeping this from you.”

He smiled slightly and held me closer. “Whatever happens, I love you.” I smiled into his chest, happy to hear those words. 

“I love you too, I really do.” I glanced over at the counter which now had a small queue of people waiting to be served. “I’m sorry, I need to get back to work though.”

"Oh shit, sorry." Dan placed a quick kiss on my lips and then I got up from the seat and made my way back behind the counter and started to serve a customer whilst Dan left the coffee shop.

Whereas the previous day had gone so quickly and I had enjoyed myself, today seemed to drag and all I wanted to do was get home and talk to Dan. Maybe I was over thinking the situation. Maybe this would all be okay after all. Dan loves me and I said it myself, he's a decent man. This child may not even be his, but if it is I'm going to try my hardest to be the best girlfriend that I can and, yet again, support Dan in whatever decision he makes.