Out of Hope

Chapter 1

ON LOTHAL AT MIDNIGHT

Ezra was lying in his bed, minding his own thoughts. Though he was supposed to be Kanan's Padawan, there was a lack of training happening, and even when he did mention this to Kanan he either brushed it off via topic change, or just ignored him. With him and Zeb not getting along, and Sabines constant rough and ignoring treatment, he was starting to wonder if he really belonged there. Only Hera was treating him nice, almost reminding him of how his mother used to treat him. Seeing as he used to easily get along when he was alone, he was considering packing up whatever he had and taking off, disappearing into the city. To clear his full and muzzy head, he headed out of his room and headed off to the top of the ship. 

With the clear skies and fresh air, his head started feeling quite a lot clearer. He sat there for quite a few minutes, before he heard the sound of boots on the hull of the ship. "Couldn't sleep either, huh?" The feminine voice asked. "No... Mostly just came here to clear my head." It was the first normal conversation they had had, with no Ezra's usual flirty behavior, or Sabine's feeling of superiority. Though it wasn't a long conversation, it was still refreshing to both of them. "Sabine..." Ezra started. Sabine was immediately on guard and ready to shut down any attempt, "How would you feel if I left, or how Kanan and Zeb would react?" This caught Sabine completely off guard. Sabine thought about it for a few moments, weighing different wording choices, and thinking how Ezra might react. "I'm... not sure, if I'm honest.. I don't think Zeb would necessarily miss you, considering how much he seems to dislike you... Kanan.. He is very hard to understand so I am not really the person to comment on that..." Sabine purposefully left herself out, as she wasn't quite sure on how she would react. Though Sabine was getting used to having Ezra around, she didn't think of Ezra quite as family yet, "And you Sabine? How would you feel?" Sabine had really hoped that he wouldn't notice that. Thinking quickly, she responded simply, "I don't know... You have been around for long enough that I got used to your presence but... not quite to the same level as someone like Zeb."

Ezra was not quite sure how to respond to that, so he remained silent, processing the information. "Why do you even ask?" A question that Ezra should have expected but didn't. "I... I have been thinking Sabine and.... I'm not quite sure I belong here. Kanan, who promised to train me has yet to do that or hasn't even given me a hint as to when he might start. Zeb... Well, I share a room with him, and we still can't get along..." Sabine was wide-eyed, staring at Ezra. He might not have even been a teen yet, but he talked about with seriousness that could match an angry Hera. "And then there is you. Sure, right now we might be getting along, but tomorrow? I would guess that we would be back to the same routine." Ezra sat up, looking at the field of grass flowing like water. "I'm not quite sure what I will do yet, so.... See you tomorrow Sabine...." Ezra stood up and slowly walked away. Sabine was frozen in place, his mind stuffed with this new information, and no idea on how to start processing it. She looked over to where she saw Ezra slowly walking away, to see him gone. Sabine laid down for a few moments before she stood up as well, heading back to her room. The way Ezra spoke about the entire thing shook her. Though she didn't know him too well, she was still used to the fun-loving, hyperactive pre-teen. The seriousness he showed that night, was something very unusual for him. Being quite tired, she lied down on her bunk and fell asleep. 

o0o

Sabine was awoken by an argument outside her room. "Look, Ezra, I just don't know how to train you, ok? I was never a proper Jedi, only a Padawan. I have no experience in teaching." Kanan's exasperated voiced echoed through her door, "No experience, or you just don't want to even try? Kanan, I have been asking you for the past THREE weeks to start this training, but you haven't even taught me medicration or whatever you do in your room for hours on end." Ezra's serious voiced sounded through. Sabine winced at the use of a clearly incorrect word, if that even was one. That though, was what broke Kanan for just long enough, for Ezra to make the decision he had been debating on. "Look you orphan Loth-rat, I don't have the experience to teach you anything, now just go, I need to talk to Hera." Sabine was shocked at what Kanan said, as he was always the center of all things calm on the ship. She heard slow, but heavy walking, and the woosh as a door was opened. Then there was slight noise as something full was raised, and then more heavy, but now faster walking was heard again. The noise got Sabine to react. She put on her clothes and armor as fast as she could, and then ran out of her room to the cargo room, to find it completely empty, with just a single datapad on one of the boxes. She picked it up, to make sure it was just the manifest. It was instead a little letter.