Choices

The whisky in the glass has risen to twice it's previous level. Too much ice. David enjoys his whisky slightly chilled but not at the expense of diluting it. A waste of perfectly good Talisker. Not that it is the bartender's fault. He has been sitting here for a while now, nursing the glass without drinking anything.

It is late at night. Is Jade wondering where he is? Does she worry? That makes him want to laugh. Probably not. She is most likely asleep by now. Dreaming about Althea again.

Althea. That name feels like a knife being twisted in his chest...slowly. But along with the usual emotions of anger, despair and heartache is a new feeling. Panic. Like a trapped animal trying to rip it's way out of his chest.

What else has Oscar done to Althea? Beating her up was bad enough but was there something worse? What if her son has been harmed?

What if Jade finds out?

The trapped feeling in his chest swells at the last thought. He very nearly clutches it. It feels like the start of a heart-attack. Whatever else he might tell himself at other times, alone like this, the barriers he has built in his mind come tumbling down. The flood of thoughts toppling his illusions (or were they delusions?) about winning Jade's heart if he could just get her away from Althea.

"What if Althea had died? Where does that put us? Accessories to my husband's demonic actions?"

"what choice do we have, Ma? We are only doing what is good for Jade, right?"

"Or what's good for us? Haven't we only been thinking of ourselves? We have never really thought about Jade's happiness, have we?"

"Do we have a choice, Ma? Can we even stop now after everything we have done against Jade?"

"If Althea's life is on the line, I am sure Jade will not forgive us. She can't lose the thing she loves most."

Amanda's words bounce around in his head, flaying his soul. Even Amanda, despite all her hopes, can see the obvious truth.

Jade loves Althea. Not as a passing fancy or an experiment. She truly loves her. The most.

And despite all of Oscar's schemes and contrivances, it has not changed. David does not need to be a mind reader to see Althea in Jade's waking thoughts. In her sleeping dreams.

I am the second best option. Not the choice of her heart. That is Althea.

"Nothing has changed", he says to the glass. "All I have done is make sure she will hate me forever."

"Pardon?"

David starts. The bearded bartender is standing in front of him. He didn't realize he had said it out aloud.

"Sorry." He replies in English. He should have got up and gone back to the room but he feels a desperate need to unburden himself. To alleviate his guilt just a little. "Difficult decisions to make."

"I can see that," the bartender replies. "Woman troubles?" He gestures to the full glass. "Guys like that either get dead drunk at the bar or sit for hours without drinking anything."

David rubs his face. It is late. He is tired. He should go back up before spilling all his thoughts out to a complete stranger. But he needs to talk to somebody who was not a Tanchingco and he did not dare to talk to his friends. Too much risk that the word would spread.

"If you do something bad but it is for the person you love, is that alright?" he asks. "If I do something to protect my wife from...an undesirable person, that is not evil is it?"