CARINA'S POV:
Growing up in a mental institution is obviously not the ideal childhood for anyone, however it has become familiar and sort of homely. Since December 18th 1998 I had to start from scratch, at the age of 10 I no longer had a family, then being deemed "mentally unstable" resulted in me not having a foster family, it instead ended me up here, in Salem's Mental Institution for Adolescents. Which meant no friends, home, even school which to some would be a blessing but for 10 year old me, was hell as at the time I was seeking any familiarity.
Now 6 years later SMIA had become at least something I knew would remain the same, well not really. It all ends when I turn 18 then I have a retrial for the murder of my family where I have to answer lengthy questions of a day that I cannot remember. Before you ask, according to the police I was 100% confirmed as the murderer and how do I not remember? Well I don't know, sorry to disappoint.
Now back to my life so far..
Since being admitted into SMIA I have been "diagnosed" with the following, yes there is a few:
- Bipolar Disorder
- Anxiety
- Hallucinations and Delusions
- Depression
Now I have been here for almost 7 years and nothing changed much around here I live in room 236 where my bed is 24 steps away from the door 13 away from the barred window and 2 story's above the main level and directly above the common room, every morning the old nurse Agatha delivers all 28 of us our medication however there are four rooms empty on my level one directly across from me, one 4 doors down to the left and two at the very start of the right corridor.
I like to know these things and I like knowing where everything is.
Now I know exactly everyone in the building however I do not talk to majority of them. Only few people I can stand. Charlotte a 10 year old who's room is on level 2 number 269, and Robert a soon to be 18 year old who lives also on level 2 room 271.
Now that introductions are over another familiar day begins.I am wide awake on my back 24 steps away from my metal door when I hear Agatha's shuffling down the hallway with her slight limp on the left leg, a knock on my door motivates me to walk over to the door.
"Good morning Agatha" I say quietly as I approach the door.
"Morning dearie here is your medicine and take this with it" Agatha says as she unlocks my door and walks towards my with medication and a glass of water in hand.
It has taken me 4 years to be able to "socialise" with fellow adolescents in this facility but the terms being I must always be compliant.
I grab my medication and swiftly drink the water to wash it down as I study Agatha as her eyes are looking brighter and she is wearing a new uniform shirt which is only given out every month, unless of course a new teen will be entering.
"Agatha, is there a new teen staying here?" I ask handing her back the glass
"Oh yes a boy about your age is coming in today at around 11" she replies
"Hmm interesting" I mutter
"Oh it's almost 10 you better get dressed dearie" Agatha says brightly as she begins to exit my room shutting the door behind her, yet not locking.
Agatha has become a mother figure to most patients in the SMIA and most of us like her.
I get dressed and fix my long brown hair into a high ponytail as I put on my skinny grey sweatpants with no pockets and a grey t shirt. Mandatory for all patients to wear. I walk out my room to the bathroom which is monitored and look at my appearance, I am tall standing at 5"9 and have an oval face with my only outstanding feature being my blue eyes with brown near the irises.
Happy with my appearance I walk past 14 doors and down the stairs to level 1. As I enter the foyer the barrier between me and the front doors is thick glass as I see parents or friends of patients take off belts, jewellery, phones, anything that we can use to harm ourselves or others. Walking towards the common room I see parents talking to their kids as I continue to walk towards the garden. The grounds outside the institution are average sized and provide the perfect place to observe others. I walk towards the side where the bench is and I sit and watch, I watch people movements, habits, signs of mistrust, anticipation and fear, above all I watch people lie. Everyone lies and I am very good at knowing who is lying to me. There is nothing I hate more than a liar.My watch on my hand beeps every hour twice. It shows 11.
Me being the curious person I am walk back inside and sit of the sofa with the direct view of the front doors and security.At 11:05 a mother and her son walk into the room and start talking to the receptionist. The mother is short and thin and looks like she hasn't slept in years, she is fidgeting her fingers and is constantly glancing back at her son who is tall, well over 6"2 with a mop of brown semi curly hair and an expressionless face. He stands tall and unmoving with the exception of his eyes, they have scanned over the 8 security cameras and the entrance to the common room. He notices the small things and when the receptionist asks him a question it was a short answer that I could not hear. As he and his mother walk towards security I notice a thin scar on the back of his ear down past the collar of his shirt. By the time he has taken of anything "dangerous" and comes out of the change rooms in our fashionable grey clothes his mother is sobbing. The son looks at his mother and when she hugs him he stiffly returns it as Agatha and her younger assistant Melinda walk him into the common room doors. Melinda is a blonde woman is her late 20's and has a habit of talking too much. She explains to the boy with brown eyes that his room is on the 2nd level and it is room 237. This statement makes me look up which I don't do when listening in on a conversation, realising the boy's room is across from mine. I look back down at my nails and feel someone staring at me, I choose to ignore it and continue looking at my nails.
"CARINA!" Melinda shouts in her overhappy voice, "come here for a second hunny"
Shit.
I look up to be met with the boys brown eyes staring directly at me. I slowly stand up and walk the opposite direction down the hall towards the garden. I stay there and think for a while about what I will do when I'm 18 and what will happen to me until
3 long beeps over the monitors prevent me from my thinking as the final beep ends and the signal for lunch has sounded as patients wandering about the garden walk inside towards the food hall.
I walk inside and after getting my meal I sit in the back corner on a table that can fit 6 but nobody sits with me and I sit with nobody. After getting halfway through my tuna sandwich and water I look up to see the same boy from earlier today looking down at me.
"Hi" he says with no emotion looking down at me
"Hey" is my blank reply
"You were listening in on my conversation this morning." He says not in an accusing voice but stating it as a fact
"Fuck off" was my only reply
And as simple as that, he walks away. After finishing my food before everyone else and passing my tray to the kitchen staff I walk back to the common room to find the room empty except for the same boy from lunch at the piano playing a tune I didn't recognise.
I watch from the corner of the room for a minute before walking into the room.
"Your playing is pretty shit." I state waiting keenly for a response
"Fuck off" he says looking up at me
I respond with a smirk and walk outside. His voice had a slight English accent to it and spoke clearly.Later that day and after dinner I didn't see the boy again. Not until I was walking upstairs to my room to him him standing outside his, opposite mine.
I stop outside my door and stand to face him.
"Isaac." He states, hands by his side, simply saying his name.
"Carina." I reply
He moves into his room without another word. As do I.As I get ready for bed I think about the boy, Isaac my thoughts being interrupted by Agatha opening my door, "Goodnight dearie, did you have a good day?" She asks me
"Yes quite nice Agatha and yourself" I reply
"Oh quite busy with the new boy around, quite attractive one he is." She says before leaving me to my thoughts.
I walk to bed and fall into a sleep.FIRST CHAPTER OVER
Sorry if how Carina narrates is very particular, it just is how her character is.
Stay tuned x
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