Bloom

03

As Alyssa and I step out of the car together, the paparazzis go wild and the flashing almost blinds me. I make it to the door only by keeping my head down and focusing on the deep purple carpet leading up to the bouncer. Paparazzis call out questions, asking about what we're wearing and I try to contain my anger. Why in bloody hell would anyone care what two nineteen year old girls are wearing, regardless of who their parents are or what position of power they hold?

I keep my head down as I walk past them, and examine my dress. The one I ended up choosing was a short strapless black one that flared out at the bottom like a skater skirt. The heart neckline accents the thin silver necklace that lays carefully over my collarbones and the emerald gem dangling from the end of the chain kisses my chest gently and makes my eyes shine brighter than usual. I am glad Alyssa knew what my style is because I really like this dress. My dark brown hair falls down my back in curls. Sometimes I wish I had Alyssa's straight blonde hair- it always seemed to cascade perfectly in a model-like fashion.

I push aside my jealousy for the moment and paste on a fake smile as I step into the overly-expensive restaurant and am greeted immediately by Alyssa's family who let their lips plant themselves on one too many faces and their eyes act as judges who only care about the amount of money that sits unused in your Italian bank account.

As we are directed to the private dining area overlooking the city, Alyssa hooks her arm in mine and I try not to dwell on our moment in the car so the tears don't threaten their escape again. I only have to smile and fake this happiness for a few more hours and then I can crawl back under my covers where I can't ruin anyone's lives.

The dining area is filled with circular tables draped in white tablecloths and covered in silver utensils and glasses filled to the brim with too expensive wine. The chairs are occupied by old wealthy people dressed in suits and designer dresses. The lights are dimmed and a black grand pianoforte is being played on a small stage right underneath the huge diamond chandelier which hangs in a fashion that shows off its crystals in an over the top way.

I clench my jaw and smile as I sit in the seat by my nameplate, the table right near the stage. Alyssa sits down next to me and immediately there are servers awaiting our orders.

I turn down the waiter's offer for a beverage after he gives Alyssa her drink. An older woman, whom I have never made acquaintence of, appears on stage in a nonflattering dress and starts reading off of a card and I tune her out as the clapping and cheering over gifts and sponsors and talks of money related topics commence. I see Alyssa texting under the table and I jump at the chance to escape and hide in the restroom for a while at least.

I wind through the tables, trying not to get sucked into any conversations as I make my way to the bathroom. I choose the private bathroom and shut the door before leaning against it and trying to clear my head. All these people talk about is money and sports cars and business trips and they all cover themselves in perfumes to mask the scent of affairs and scandals.

I breathe in deeply and turn to look at myself in the mirror. I quickly look away after seeing my reflection and reach into my purse to check my phone. A single message from my mom. I delete it without opening it and find myself growing angry. Why the hell does she insist on trying to make contact with me after kicking me out? Why does she keep inviting me over and sending me birthday gifts after she told me I was the worst thing that had ever happened to her? I wipe away my tears before they mess up my mascara and step out of the bathroom that felt like it was getting smaller by the second.

I quickly scamper back to my table and ignore the rude stares for being "unladylike". I feel sick as I look upon the plate that has been set in front of my chair. I slowly cut the steak, but only take a few bites. I force the salad down my throat and ignore the burning taste of the dressing. I can barely eat anymore. I cover the rest of my plate with my napkin and try to pay attention to whatever the man in the tuxedo is rambling on about.

Finally the applause sounds and guests start to rustle around in their seats. Alyssa's father walks over to Alyssa and I.

"Hey if you girls want to make your escape now, this is your chance. We'll just be doing the auctions and having cocktail hour so go ahead! Have fun and happy birthday Alyssa! Love you, be home by 11 tomorrow girls and make good decisions please," he winks and waves at me as Alyssa gives him a side hug. We both nod before turning curtly and hurrying out of the banquet hall.

"Mind if we stop in the bathroom before going up? I want to fix my makeup," Alyssa asks as we enter the regular dining area.

"Yeah um.. yeah I mean we can go in.. there," I stutter.

"Okay cool."

I keep silent as we exit the dining room and wander through the back halls in search of a bathroom. When we reach the door with the blue circle that serves as a background for the white lady in the dress, Alyssa pushes open the door and moves immediately to position herself in front of the mirror. I stand awkwardly by the counter, absentmindedly playing with the bowl of complimentary mints.

Alyssa looks up at me through the mirror and swallows, "So Lexi, about earlier-"

"It's okay I shouldn't ruin your party I know," I cut her off with a tight smile. She smiles lightly in apology. I look back down and smooth out my dress nervously. In only a few short moments we will be entering the roof, where memories will be made and the music will probably make us slightly deaf.

"I think I'm going to wait um.. wait outside. It's kind of hot in here.." I pull up my dress on the top and walk outside faster than Alyssa can reply.

When Alyssa joins me in the hall she tries to make conversation as we head in the direction of the grand staircase.

"You look pretty tonight Lexi," she says quietly. Her tone reminds me that she is only talking to fill the silence. Alyssa is one of those people that always has tone surrounded by people and noise and clinking glasses. She follows in her mother's footsteps I suppose.

"Thanks, you do too. Cool color on you," I mutter.

"Yeah! I had bought a good red lipstick so I figured if I wore a white dress then I could wear it finally! I've been looking for something to wear it with for aaages."

Alyssa always seemed to be happy when she talked about clothes and expensive jewelry and makeup. I used to be like that too. But not lately. I just haven't been myself.

"Ha.. yeah. It's cool I guess," I reply, my tone short and neutral.

We fall back into silence as we reach the grand staircase. We climb the 25 steps carefully; the climb seems agonizingly slow. As Alyssa and I press the button for the glass elevator, a high-pitched ding fills the silence that has engulfed my ears.

The man inside asks us kindly what floor we are headed to. Alyssa tells him her name and that we are going to the roof. His gloved hand lightly taps neon button reading "ROOF" on the touch screen pad. I struggle to take in normal breaths as I prepare myself for what is to come.