Before the butthead - Din's Prequel

My life is such a mess. I was never good with studies and never had enough support from my family. I don't even have many friends. I never saw my father and elder brother as good family members. I remember mostly what they do with their lives affect badly to me, my mother and my younger sister.

My father's name was Johan. He was a factory worker. He has a bad addiction to gambling and that affected his social life and family life. Most importantly he has a bad temper. He was a wife-beater and often beat up my mother if she does not give him money. It was not too long ago that he got fired from his job because of his bad temper. My father got into a fight with his supervisor and that led to his dismissal. My parents had a divorce soon after because my mother couldn't stand living together with a man that has no sense of responsibility and love left. Not long after my parents were divorce, I found out from my father's ex co-worker that my dad's gambling addiction drove him to resort to stealing. Eventually the police caught him and arrested him for rattempted robbery at a pawn shop.

My elder brother, Burhan was no saint either. After my family fell apart because of my parents divorce, he became extremely self-centred. Most people expect that if anything were to happen to the head of the family, the eldest sibling would be a pillar of support. Burhan did not care about his responsibility because he was only focused on his own well being. He was vengeful and decide to live on his own and not offer support to the family. All due the the fact that he was not given much care and love growing up. But that has been the case for all of my siblings including myself. He should know bettter. I blame it on his bad friends he mix with. They were always very mischevious wherever they go. This would led them always having trouble with the police. Ultimately one day, while reading the newspaper I found out that he too was sent to prison just like my dad. He was arrested for distribution of contrabands.

Since then, the only family member that was left was me, my mother Zainab and my sister Sharifah. My mother and I had the same ideals following the recent bad events that happen with my family. We still wanted our family to be a good family, especially for my younger sister. Sharifah was a bright kid and is the smartest amongst all my siblings. She was always doing well in school. My mother didn't have time to look after both me and my sister nor did she earn enough to support us both. I eventually had to work part-time to help with the bills and household expenses. The stress that I develop trying to get my life priorities right and worrying about my family's survival keeps on increasing. I needed something that can take this pain and stress away. This led me to start smoking. Somehow, I felt that every time I smoke, it helps me forget about my problems a bit. It wasn't long before this led to an addiction.