Of Gods and Monsters

Into the Fire

"I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one's very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?"

- Voltaire

"What if I could offer you a way out."

Elek felt his throat tighten.

The way Ambrus had said it didn't sound much like a question, yet instead, a promise. His head was getting increasingly muddled and his grip on his own body relenting. He felt almost all of his weight rely on Ambrus, who was holding him slack in an upright position. Elek embarrassingly realized, that if he were to have let go, he might've slumped into a heap at the floor. Licking his now chapped and numb lips, he met the eyes of the man beside him.

"I don't know how you'd be able to help me, sir."

Elek managed, feeling uncomfortable now. Ambrus smiled, almost reassuringly, but Elek could see the malice that might hide behind his façade.

"I could pay your parents debts, you know. I could even pay for your violin obsession, get you a spot somewhere doing the thing you love most."

Elek, in his hazy mind, was mildly alarmed that this man he just met somehow knew him so intimately. However, the thought was brushed aside for the moment at the feeling of immense relief even the suggestion offered.

"But I can't simply accept your money while doing nothing for you in retur---."

He began, but Ambrus silenced his further protests by interjecting.

"I do ask for something, however. Just one thing."

Elek cocked his swimming head, his unruly hair falling into his face, and was unable to meet the gaze of his companion.

"And what is that?"

"Simple. You pledge your life to me. You pledge that your life is mine, and mine alone, to do with as I want."

Elek was confused. Pledge his life? That seemed ridiculous. Like a knight, from days past. To pledge his meager life to this man, Ambrus, whom he just met? Before his anxieties could be expressed, Ambrus continued.

"It's simply a pledge, Elek. You need not agonize over it. Just know that when I need you, you will come. I ask this small sacrifice in return for a life time of freedom."

Elek was struck mute. He had a point. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life doing something and being something, he didn't enjoy or want. Perhaps due to being backed into a wall or, he mused later, a small ounce of self-hatred, he responded thus.

"I agree then, Ambrus. My life is yours."

Ambrus smiled largely, his equally as large hands falling onto Elek's shoulder, drawing him even closer. Elek swallowed nervously, feeling his stomach flutter as the realization of what he'd just done hit him. Though, they quelled as soon as he remarked on how useless such a pledge was in the common era. Certainly, the man would just want his money back at some point.

"I accept, my friend. I shall arrange the payments to be made on your behalf, under the stipulation that you are to do as you see fit."

Elek nodded dumbly, unable to vocalize any longer. Whatever they had smoked before hadn't been tobacco, or any other substance he'd ever smoked before. It was robbing him of his sound mind. He felt himself further fall into the man beside him, like a limp doll. Ambrus eyes stared down at him as he slowly lost consciousness.