The thought of you with someone else is enough to bring my stomach strain laughter to a halt and waves to wash over me. As if I was standing in the midst of the ocean, my feet in sand as the only sounds are children laughing and the ocean talking. I stand there motionless as I let the waves crash over my figure. The only thing holding me up is my anger as I dig my heels deeper and deeper into the sand, until I just give up and come crashing along with everything the water carries.
The thought of you with someone else is what muses my urge to go on the internet and find people who have shared the same experience, to know I'm not alone. Even though every person has a different story and has different 3am thoughts. It's always nice to hear you aren't the only one even though it feels like.
The thought of you with someone else is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Its almost predetermined with me. If I'm in love, you must be in love too! Just not with me.With what seems to be every girl other than me.
Like in the super market. When you're looking for a certain fruit, and they have everything but, or worse. It's withered and gross. Not even worth checking under the first batch in view.
What's the point. Why would I grab the wrinkled fruit and carry it throughout the store as if I'm going to purchase it, if everyone knows that it's not something just anyone does. It's something someone who's not afraid of judgment, or afraid of a bitter, disgusting taste and explosion of flavor as they bite into something they know will give them a stomach ache later on.
What's the point in doing something when you know it won't bring anything for you except the satisfaction of having something other people don't, when you realize no one wants what you have. And then later on you realize you don't even want what you have. It was pointless. The fruit. It was wrinkled, bitter, gross. It's changed, but it wasn't worth it.
