THE SOAP FIC

THE SOAP EPIDEMIC

Awsten was kneeling in the bathtub fully clothed, a towel under his knees and another under his hands. His head turned as he craned his neck to stare longingly at the dish soap that was for some reason in the bathroom. "why the fuck am i kneeling in a bathtub?" Awsten got out of the tub. He picked up the towels and took them outside to burn them. When he was done burning the towels, he returned to the dish soap. He picked it up and started drinking like it was the best shit he'd ever fuckin had. That's when Geoff walked in. "Are you drinking dish soap again?"
"ya so what?"
"Awsten you have a soap addiction."
"I don't care a fuck"
"ok" geoff left the room. he honestly didn't give a shit about awsten eating soap anymore.

Otto was eating chipotle, nothing out of the ordinary, when geoff walks up to him and asks if he cares a fuck about awstens soap addiction.  But Otto didn't care a fuck, so he said "yeah it's getting bad, we should probably do something."
Geoff responds "yeah"
The two boys walk to the bathroom where awstens still eating soap. Otto says "dude stop drinking soap wtf"
bUT before awsten can say anything they get magically transported to the basement. This happens a lot because the house is possessed, so the parx boiz think nothing of it. what they do find slightly strange, though, is that travis is just floating around the room like the old fuckin dvd screen saver. awsten asks travis what he's doing "how did you get in here and what the fuck are you doing, actually how are you doing that"
"*INSERT HORRIBLE MECHANICAL SCREECHING NOISE HERE*"
"oh ok"
Awsten takes a sip of soap, so otto throws a chipotle napkin at him.
as soon as the napkin hits awsten all four boys get transported to the kitchen where jawn is chopping onions. Nobody knows,or cares why he's chopping onions in guy fieri's house. Geoff leaves without saying anything and starts playing his switch. awsten finishes his soap and gets sad that it's gone, so he decides to become a souncloud rapper and changes his name on twitter to 'FELONY SOAP' but after he does that his phone disappears. travis is still floating around the room making the inhuman noise that hasn't stopped coming out of his mouth since awsten asked him a question, but everyones gotten used to it and just ignores his existance. since awsten is out of soap and no longer has a phone, he makes kool aid. He forces everyone to take a cup full of the wonderful kool aid he made, including jawn, who is still cutting onions and crying,  and travis who is still an old dvd player screensaver. Everyone drinks the kool aid, and now they are all dead in hell happily ever after.