Mis Istorias

I SEE

Malamig na hangin ang tumama sa  balat ng binatang umiiyak habang nakapatong sa rooftop ng isang building.
Umiiyak na tila ba pagod na pagod sa kanyang mga pinagdadaanan. Tila pagod na pagod nang mubahay at gusto nang kitilin ang sarili ng buhay.
Hindi niya maipagtanto kung bakit ganoon na lamang ang trato ng tadhana sa kanya. Na tila ba may galit ito sa kanya. Gulong-gulo siya.
Habang tahimik na umiiyak at itanatanong sa mundo ang mga tanong kung anong kamalian ang kanyang nagawa? Kung meron ma'y gaano kalaki ito? Gaano ito kalaki para parusahan siya ng ganoon?

  Gusto niya nang tumalon nang may bigla siyang narinig na isang malamig na boses na nagtatanong sa kanya.

"Are you going to jump?"
Tanong nito sa kanya .
Nang lingunin niya ito ay tila bagot na bagot itong nakatingin sa kanya.
Saglit siyang natigilan sa tanong ng lalaki sa kanya. Napatingin siya sa baba.
"Am I?"
Tanong niya sa sarili niya.
He was about to muster something when the latter spoke again.
"If yes,then go. No one's stopping you. I'll just stand here and watch you fall,break your skull, bleed a buckets of blood then die. A beautiful masterpiece that World would ever let me see. That if ,you will jump. Are you going to jump?"
Hindi siya makapaniwala sa mahabang itinuran ng lalaki.
"You're a heartless person."
The latter fumed.
"Am I?"
Balik tanong nito gamit pa din ang bagot na bagot na tingin at malamig na boses.
"Yes. Because you will just watch me die and even called my death a masterpiece! That's absurd!"
Taas noo niyang sagot.
"Amazing."
  Sabi pa nito.
Napakunot noo naman ang isa.
"What?"
Iritadong tanong niya.
"Well, isn't your goal is to jump so that you could take your life away and escape from your problems, is it?"
Tanong nito.

Iyon nga ba ?
Tanong ng binata sa isip niya.
Ibubuka niya na sana ang bibig niya nang magsalita ito ulit.
"Humans. Such a stupid being."
Sabi nito na para bang namamangha sa kaniya.
"You're talking as if you're not a human."
Sabi pa niya rito .
"And you're conversing as if you aren't planning to jump and just die."
Tugon pa nito sa tinuran niya.

Nairita siya sa tinuran nito.
"Alam mo pakialamero ka!"
He snapped.

"Am I?"
Tanong pa nito.
"Oo! Why are you even here?"
Iritado parin ang boses ng binata habang nakatayo sa may edge ng rooftop. Isang maling hakbang at mahuhulog na ito.
"Why do you care?"
Balik tanong ulit nito.
"Why do you keep on answering my query with another query?!"
Bulyaw nito.
"And why do you keep on asking?"
Tugon pa nito habang prenteng tumatayo sa kinatatayuan nito.
"Can't you just leave?!"
He exclaimed.
"Is the property yours?  Will you please just jump off this building and die. I have no time with life's cliché scenes."
Sabi pa nito.
"You talked as if death is nothing to be afraid of."
He amusingly stated to the guy.
"And you talked as if death is not what you're finding."
Sabi ulit nito.

"He obviously loves contradiction."
Sabi pa niya.
"Aren't you afraid of death? Are you?"
Manghang tanong niya rito.
"Should I be?"
Tanong nito.
"You should of course! Everyone's afraid to die! "
Sabi niya.
"Then why are you going to kill yourself?"
Tanong nito.
Nabigla siya sa tanong nito.
Hindi niya naisip iyon
"I see, you're talking without thinking."
Sambit niya.
"How dare you judge me like--"
"I ain't judging you. In fact, you're the one who have judged me awhile ago."
Putol niya rito.
"I am just telling the truth!"
He blurted.
"What truth ? That I am heartless? Do you know me? No. Do you know my story? No. How can I be heartless for you ?"
Sabi nito.
"That's what I saw in you!"
He shouted.
"I see,you're judging me without even knowing my story. Poor being. Literarily speaking if I have no heart do you think I will be here standing on this place with your stupidness overflowing around? Nha."
Sambit nito habang nakapamulsa.
"Okay, okay! I am wrong, I admit it!"
Sukong sabi ng binata.
"Okay. You can now jump."
Sabi pa nito.
  Napabuntong hininga na lamang ang binata at bumaba sa kanyang kinatatayuan habang ang kausap naman niya'y tahimik lang siyang tinitignan.
Isang mahabang katahimikan ang namayani.
Pero binasag iyon ng lalaking may malamig na boses.
"Why didn't you jump?"
Tanong nito.
"I--- "
Putol na usal niya tapos ay napabuntong hininga.
"I hate this but I just want to share this pain in my heart."
Sabi pa nito.
"Ohh, that's so gayish."
  Komento nito.
"Will you please just listen?"
Tanong niyang may halong iritasyon.
"I am tired of everything. Really really tired. They restricted me like I am a girl! For Pete's sake! They restricted me yet they treated me like a shit. I just want to feel free. Nakakasakal kasi."
Sabi ng binata.
"Tapos kung makatingin sa mga kamalian ko , they look at my mistakes as if I have never ever do something right. That's why I just want to end my suffering."
Dugtong nito.
"You're shallow minded."
Komento nito.
"What the--"