Your day in 5 stages.

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Your day in 5 stages

1. You wake up to the loud bell of your alarm, you look at it and realise your still alive. The blinding light of the sun is a lie that today is going to be a good day. For you every day is shit, a fucking lie everyone else has tried to make good for you but that never happens. You snooze your alarm and lie on your back, your depression doesn't let you leave.

2. You roll out of bed because you don't want everyone to know that your depressed. You don't want to be the typical depressed girl. You don't want them to know who you really are. You try so hard for everyone but yourself you never really cared about yourself did you. Never really saw the point in your life or you in fact because you were never told to care. Everyone in your life never cared so why should you? You were never taught how to love yourself but making other people feel loved makes you feel better.

3. You get dressed but you never think you look good in the clothes you brought. You brought them because you thought that they would look good on someone else anybody but because to you, your ugly. That disgusting reflection in the mirror reminds you of who you really are. Your not the girl you wish you could be and that's sad because your so beautiful.

4. You walk downstairs and avoid everyone, because you don't wanna speak you've become so quiet that your voice isn't there anymore. Your Conscience is the only voice you hear. You past the kitchen because it had been so long since you last went in there. Food has become a object to you, a wall converted in the floor that you cannot move. Your friends are the stupid vitamins and iron tablets your mother forces you to take everyday. They are the only thing keeping you alive. But mentally you are always dead. Dead like a stone falling down the river of life. You will never be alive you realised this months ago when you first wanted to die... your family don't see this, they see the moody teenager that's wants to be alone but you never want to be alone you want to hug you mother like when you were a child but your mind doesn't  work like that and forces you to be alone with only your thoughts to guide you.

5. You go back to your bed the only comforter your mind and body can handle. The best place for you to be is in your bed. Wasting away the hours, wasting your life, wasting everything just so the messages in your head go away. The worse part of it is nobody knows. You say it's time to go, you want to get away from everything. The best way for you to do this is kill yourself. You write your letter in your notes your story, with rhymes and metaphors to see if anyone will every realise. No letter. No apology just story's. Stories that no one will ever know were about you. The last word of this story is goodbye...

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 25, 2018 ⏰

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