Short Stories from the Heart

Secrets of the Heart

She was invisible. She was transparent. Her desk partner could tell you that. Her teacher could tell you that. Anyone in the class could tell you that. She was non-existent. She almost liked it that way. The only time she ever really let anyone see or hear her was when she was called on to read, or when she had to have a conversation with her desk partner, but even then she was as faint as the light of a candle. Other than that she was silent.

Even though she was silent on the outside, she was a storm within. It was a constant battle with new unknown emotions. Her heart was full of indescribable feelings. She didn't even know where to start when trying to process them. She had secrets. She had strong desires. She kept them between her and her closest friends. She was conflicted. She was frazzled. She was insane. She was in love. 

She wouldn't admit it. He always sat close to her. He was kind and smart and gorgeous and funny and the list goes on and on.  She told her self that she could never tell him this. He was so close she could touch him, yet so far she couldn't ever make it to him without drowning, at least this is what she thought. He was way out of her league. If he ever knew she would die. So she sat silently and watched.

Every day was a new chance, but every chance she let pass by. She was invisible, and she reminded herself of this daily. She watched and observed everything he did. The way his lips moved when he talked, the way his hands touched everything. She fell in love with everything about him, but she let her unspoken words sit in her head.

She let her hopes and desires fester. She left so many words in her head, even on the tip of her tongue. She could have created something between them, but she chose not to. She was afraid, terrified of everything. Her thoughts and feelings scared her and left her wanting him, but not doing anything. She was scared of losing everything she had built up in her head. 

 He had no idea that she loved him. She never told him everything she saw. How she loved the way he laughed, the way he spoke, the way he did everything. She never told him how much he meant to her. She watched as his table partner and he talked and laughed. She wanted that. She wanted him.

It killed her how close he was to so many other girls. One day she thought she would kill herself when his desk partner fell asleep and he woke her up with a smile that she returned. She was so in love with him that it hurt her when he was with anyone else. She wanted it all so bad and at times it almost felt like a reality, but it would never be so. 

She held in those three words which are so, so brave, I LOVE YOU. 

Little did she know he held in the same.

But it would never be so, for to love you have to have courage and have no secrets of the heart.