A Letter for my Everything

Dear My Mr. Everything,

I remembered the days when you're with me. I remembered those times when we're together and exchanging this 3 words. I. Love. You. I missed the one who is always there for me no matter what happens. You're there to cheer me up. Every time I'm with you...I feel that I'm the luckiest girl to have you. You're such a great gift. You treated me like a precious stone. You've taken care of me that no one else could ever do. You're here by my side just to support me in everything. You don't like the idea that I'm alone. One day, I realized. If these memories can Fade away? Blown up by the wind?Or the reason why I cry ...someday? When I'm on my thoughts...You knocked to our door. You surprised me.
" I brought something for my love.. specially you're favorite sandwiches and roses." I'm stunned with your smile. I can't hurt you. I love you so much to hurt you. I can't do this. "Aren't you happy?"and your smile faded. You look so worried. "SORRY."
The only word that I can say for now. "Sorry for what? Did you do something that isn't right?oh, common. Don't look at me in that way.I feel nervous." I looked away. Seeing you like this is like stabbing me.But...I need to do this. " Sorry. Coz' this relationship of ours can't go further. We're at the young age for this. We must focus on our study first. There's so much you can do. Me also. Let's end this." That was a very stupid decision of mine. "Did I do something wrong?why are you breaking up with me?Tell me. You don't like my surprise?"
"I'm sorry." And my tears flows down to my cheeks. "Why? if I can stand, you can also. I can fight for both of Us. I love you so much. Please don't do this. Please".
"I'm really sorry."
And then I came to my room. I can't stand to see him in pain. I cried. I know that I'm very selfish at that time. Sorry for being childish my dear. I do it for your own sake. For me. For us. I can't handle the pain. I'm on my thoughts when someone knocked to my door. It's mom. "Honey....go outside."
She looks really weird. "Go outside!!!" That was the second time I saw her at that state. Her first one was....when my father died.

I went outside. "What's happening?". The crowd was gathering at the center of the road. I heard ambulance siren. What's going on?
"Help!Help! Help this young man!"
I stiffened. I can't move. My heart pounds faster as I saw the man they referring to. No. This is just a dream, a nightmare to be specific. Can someone please awaken me?this is not a joke. I've called your name so many times. This can't be real. I'm dreaming. And then you saw me..saying.." I love you my dear and i'll always be. Sorry for this. Please take care of yourself because I can't be here anymore. Smile for me for the last time.... please."
"I love you too. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I need you."  "Shhh. Don't cry." And the last thing i've seen...you closed your eyes. I can't control my tears. And someone said..."He's already gone." You leave me. You leave me alone. That words break down my world. It cut  into pieces. It's color began to Fade. I felt that I was riding a yacht then it sunk. No. This can't be real.

Remembering that...my heart scattered into pieces. Seeing you dying in front of me is killing me. Destroying me. I felt stabbed in my chest. Hurting you before you leave is a very big mistake that I have done in your life. I can't stop from being emotional. I'm broken. So many memories flashed in my head. The time that you keep on pissing me. Bringing up the most lame jokes i've ever heard. Our sweet moments. When you smile sweetly at me like there's no tomorrow. When you let me feel that I'm not alone...that I'm  The most beautiful girl who ever exist.

'I've lost my first love, my bestfriend, my lover, my future, my everything and its you.'

It's  sad coz' our promise together was now a memory and can not be in a reality. I can't do anything just to bring back your life. Now that you're gone, I want you to know these 3 words coming from me. " I love you". I'm still in-love with you. I'm lucky to have you. Sorry for what i've done to the last minute of your life. Sorry for everything. I regret for being a childish girlfriend for you. Life is so much unfair. I know that you're happy now wherever you are. Please be happy for me. I just want to thank you...for being part of my life...my past. Thank you for all the time and things you gave me... specially  your endless love. I'll promise that i'll keep our memories in my mind and buried it in my heart. Thank you for making me strong. Now that I'm getting married to someone... please be happy for me. Because it's life. No one deserves this even you. Thank you for all and I Love you dear.
 
                                  Your love,
                            Ms. Everything