A Left Behind Wish

"Somewhere inside of my mind I knew I wouldn't be able to finish, or bring it to fruition. That was something I should have accepted long ago; my fate was already decided. Perhaps it was foolish of me to continue fighting, perhaps it was foolish to hold to that sliver of hope that I could do it. But despite all of that, I don't regret it. I would wake up each day, with a dull headache, wandering around the house doing nothing but sitting and sleeping, staring at my computer, at my research with dulled eyes. Each day I would take countless pills into my gradually weakening body. I don't regret holding onto those hopes and dreams, I don't regret making that one-sided promise. Even as I sit in this dust filled room, surround by the books that was once owned by someone who is long forgotten. If I didn't, I would waste away, holding onto a bitter grudge against the world, against God. However, that seemingly foolish little thing has kept me sane, and made me realize before I fully gave into the creeping despair. But now, I no longer have anything to hold onto, for in this very moment as I can barely write with my numb cold hands, can barely see through the growing darkness creeping into the corners of my vision, and can barely hear my own breathing through the dull ringing in my ears, I am content. I have exhausted my strength into making sure that I fulfill that promise, to both her and myself. The only thing I do have left is hope, hope that someone finds this note and finds what I have left behind, that is if there is anyone left to read this. Political tensions were on the rise, the last thing that I heard on the news was the Washington Monument being set ablaze by angered civilians, before I have made my home in this shelter.

"Without a doubt, as I lay here in this shelter the world is only getting worse, that humankind is at odds end with each other, but there is something more important, and that is the very soil that you stand on. The Earth's waters are slowly becoming hostile, not only to you but to dozens of innocent creatures who purely exist, and there is no one else to blame but yourself. While at the time I doubt all of this is reversible, you can do something to stop it. The acidity will continue to rise, more living organisms will die hapless. Rivers such as the Yellow river can certainly attest to this. Coral reefs, those uniquely structured creatures are slowly dying, being eroded away, even as I write this, and this will continue as time goes on. If the Great Barrier Reefs and the colorful reefs of Hawaii were compared to now, to decades ago, they will not hold even a spark to its past greatness. Please, take note of these beautiful creatures and think not so selfishly of your own advancements. The trees, the flowers, the low-lying grass are truly hurting as well. Global warming is not a myth, it is not a lie told by the government to steal your money. You would know this if you listened to the small low-lying coastal towns that have been sent under the tides-due to rising water levels-and thousands of people lost their homes purely because no one would listen, and a small pessimistic side of me says that many more small towns have been taken and still no one listened. The trees, the very beings that protects our atmosphere are being cut down because we, as humans will always be greedy. They are dying and species are fading because we see one of the major killers as a lie, and the others are due to our own hands. I have seen acres upon acres of wooded areas being trampled on, brought down and cut down, lush fields dug up and suffocated by concrete and asphalt and all for useless gain. It also saddens me to see these places be abandoned and left to rot and wilt away, that people refuse to give back, to replant and grow. This is truly only the tip of the iceberg, for humans are causing chaos among themselves."

"I have known for a long time that humans are selfish and greedy. We take and shrug, we destroy without second thought all under the excuse of, "how bad can this be?" However, it already is bad and can only get worse. Even before I have locked myself in this place, it was already bad. The economy struggled with the diminishing amount of fossil fuels, cities have been ever so close to being burned down, more water sources are being polluted, more land is being filled with trash and useless buildings, cities have been under the constant threat of being burned down due to the growing civil unrest. Smog is slowly reaching into the land, acid rain is more frequent, and the list of endangered and extinct species only grows, despite the attempts of the few scientists that care. It is only a matter of time until something breaks, and the Earth is looking to be first. While I wasted away in this place, watching the piles of empty cans grew, as my body only seemed to suffer more, I wrote and wrote. I used these aged books and my own knowledge and wrote until my body refused to do so any more, until I felt satisfied with myself and acknowledged that I have done all I can do. So, I leave my work, these books and this note to whoever finds it and I implore you to share it. Tell the world, that if it already isn't too late, that you still have time. Use what I have left here, and save whatever may remain. While humanity will never see eye to eye, and continue to paint the Earth with each other's blood, at the very least take care of this planet that you call home. For whatever future generations that may live here, and the innocent species that also have made a home of Earth. If no one does, if no one is left remaining in this country, in this world, then at the very least myself, the Earth and God will know that I have existed, that I have done all I could with this worn body, and a single promise."

~ Ava Johnson May 27, 2217