I Choose You.

Chapter 1

Nobody ever really liked Castiel - Hell, Castiel didn't even like Castiel. He didn't know why. They just didn't. I guess you could say he was the school nerd. He had no friends. That was until the new kid - Dean Winchester - showed up.

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Castiel's POV

*BEEP BEEP BEEP* I slam my hand down on my alram clock. Its the first day back from Fall Break. I really don't want to go back to school just so I can get beaten up by the football team. Again. It's 5 in the damn morning. Nobody should be up at this ungodly hour.
All my bruises just went away. Now i'm going to get more. Perfect.
I get up and get into the shower. I like to take long ones so i can think. I think better when the water is running off my skin. I like the feeling. I get out and put on my black pants, white button up shirt, blue tie, and my beloved trench coat. It used to be my father's, before he died last year. I get in my car and drive to school.

When I pull up I noticed that the football team and their leader - Crowley - are waiting at the entrance. Probably for me. "Great" i say under my breath, even though nobody can hear me. I grab my bag and walk up to the front doors, trying to ignore them, "CASSIE!!" I heard Crowley yell. Fuck. "How was your break? did you get rested up for me?" Crowley said as he got in my face. "Get away. I don't need this." i spat back. "Oh, but I do." He grabbed me by my collar and dragged me to the side of the school. "Here we go again" i thought to myself.

Next thing I know, I feel Crowley's fist bash into my face. Repeatedly. He then threw me against the dumpster, causing my face to bleed. As I lay on the ground, theres a new pain to worry about. Crowley slammed his foot into my stomach. As the warning bell rang, Crowley rushed inside. I stagger to my feet. When i finally get to class, i slump into my seat. i get my algebra text book and notes out for class. When i look down, i notice the red pool of blood on my desk. I rush to wipe it before anybody notices. Like anybody would though. Nobody cares about me.

Nobody.

I don't even have friends. Not one. There's no hope for me. At all.

When the teacher - Mrs.Giesting - started class she introduced a new student. I wasn't paying attention though. I kept my head down. When I decided to look up, I saw a pair of unfimaliar bright green eyes staring at me. He must be the new student. I was mesmerized. I couldn't look away. But why was he sitting by me? There's other open seats.

The owner of the beautiful green eyes smiled and said, "Hey. My names Dean. Dean Winchester."

I stammered to answer him, but kept messing up my words, "uh hi - I'm - um". Dean laughed, "tongue tied?" I shook my head and eventually said quietly "my name is Castiel Novak"

"Mind if I call you Cas? It's shorter and easier to remember." Dean said. "S-sure.." I said.

Nobody has ever given me a nickname before.. Dean kept staring at me. Why? Maybe he thinks I'm a freak too.

After a few minutes Dean asks, "what happened to you? There's a huge cut by your temple.." I didn't say anything, I just shrugged. "What happened? Tell me.." I looked up at dean and sighed, "Crowley. The football team captain. He beat me up by the dumpsters." Deans eyes got wide.

"What? Why didn't you do anything?" "I'm used to it." I said, "you get used to getting used to things after awhile, Dean." The bell rang and I rushed to my next class just to find out that Dean was also in that one.

Dean walked over and sat down by me. "You really need to get that checked out, Cas. It could be dangerous if it bleeds too much." I just nodded my head and got my books out. Why does he care? Not like he's my friend or anything. I don't have those. A piece of crumbled paper hit my arm and fell to the floor. I picked it up and read the big bold letters, "FAG" and right underneath it read, "USELESS". I ripped the paper and put it in my bag. I buried my face in my hands and let a few tears fall. When will this stop? Am I going to have to kill myself before it does?

"Hey don't listen to them, man. They're stupid anyways." Dean tried to comfort me. It wasn't really working. I looked up and saw his eyes piercing into me. Why do I think they're so beautiful? Except now, instead of them being glossed in happiness, they were hardened with anger. His fists clenched up all of a sudden. "Dean.. It's okay.. Just another thing I'm used to.."

He looked at me and said, "that's never okay. Ever." I shook my head and turned to the class. Dean is different.. It - It doesn't matter anyways.. I don't have friends. Thats just who I am.

The rest of the day went by pretty fast. I got two more notes during the day, making me feel even more like shit. I saw the beautiful pair of green eyes a few times in the hallway. I wonder what other classes he has. When the bell rang, I walked outside to my car, just to see Crowley standing there. Just him. Without his clique. "Hey, Cassie. I'm feeling especially good today, so I'm going to give you another beating. How about that?" He gave me an evil smirk. Before I could speak I was being dragged by the lapels of my jacket to the side of the school. He threw me against the wall and walk towards me. He punched me in the temple a few times then bashed my face against the corner of one of the dumpsters. I tried to get up, but he just kicked me down again. "FAG!!" Crowley yelled. "How's it feel to know you're a disgrace and you're useless?? Hm?" He punched me in the eye this time. Great. That's gonna be black tomorrow. I just can't catch a break. He threw me against the brick school wall again, cause my face to get scratched up. He gives me one last blow to the temple and says,"You faggot!! You're so stupid!! Nobody cares about you.. You should kill yourself.." And then I pass out from the impact to my head.

When I wake up I check my watch. I was out for an hour. I get up and catch my balance. I then stumble to my car. I lay my head on the steering wheel and just cry for a minute. I can't do anything right. I bet the whole school wants me dead. While I drive home I try to keep my eyes dry. When I arrive to my house, I run upstairs to my bed room and lock the door. I change into pajamas and go into the bathroom connected to my room. I get in the cabinet and grab a blade. They want me dead? Well I want me dead too. I live in a world so hateful, that someone would rather die than be who they are. That's so sad. Pathetically sad.

As I make the first mark on my freshly healed wrist I think of the first note this morning. "You fag.." I mumble as I see a red sticky liquid ride and flow over my skin. As I make another mark I mumble, " you useless fag.." This pain is better than the one I feel at school. The way I see it, everybody has pain. You might as well choose the one you enjoy most. As I make more marks, more of the beautiful red liquid slithers it's way down my arm and seeps through the cracks of my fingers and pools on the floor. With each mark I think of something that someone has said or done to me. "Disgrace... Useless.. Ugly.. Faggot... Gay.. You should die.." I whisper. You should die.

I start feeling a little light headed after a few minutes. The blood dries and begins to scab over before I move. When I snap out of my trance, I think of the new guy with the beautifully piercing green eyes. I have no clue why. I shake the image from my head and clean my arm and the floor and sink up.