THE NIGHT
"She's so beautiful......she was so pretty", my mother repeated over and over again. She was lying on the floor,, in front of the radio intoxicated from what seemed just the start to a long night. The fact that she had been drinking wasn't a surprise, lying on the floor in front of the radio and drinking had become somewhat normal for Nadine when pressure and/or guilt got to her. And today just happened to be the day. "She's so beautiful....why? why?". The surprising part this time was an old picture in my mothers hand of a little chunky baby, a baby that was not me. "Come on mom, get up. You got a test tomorrow. You been drinking again? Come on." Same script, same answers, same song playing on the CD Player, Boys II Men's "Momma", and as always Secrets And Lies plays from the VCR. The only thing different is this picture. " Who's baby is that?" Thoughts start racing through my mind " Maybe one of my cousins? One of her friends kids? But why would she be crying over one of her friends kids? Hmmm....." I get her to her feet and then helped balance her to bed. "Mom take off your shoes, come on go to sleep". It wasn't unusual for my mother to get drunk the night before a big test and get the highest grade in the class. In fact I think she believed it helped relax her somewhat. " Who is that in the picture? ". I racked my brain with questions all night only to come up with no good answers. " Damn!! I guess I'll ask her tomorrow....maybe." After putting the living room back to a somewhat normal state, and telling the security guard once again " I'm sorry, was
the music that loud? " I was in the bed, exhausted and filled with questions.
The next morning was like any other when Nadine had been drinking the night before. She got up quietly hoping not to wake me up, brushed her teeth, showered, dressed and ate some fruit. Only this time on this morning I decided to change things up. Normally if I had seen her before she made it out the door, it had become tradition to not bring up the previous nights actions. But this morning had to be different, because I had questions.
YOU ARE READING
Secrets And Lies
Non-FictionA story of loss and gain. Feeling like you lost yourself and then over time you found yourself. It's a story of determination and strength and learning as your trials continue.
