the story behind the private video

Oneshot

I dropped off Bailey at home and now I'm on my way to Rachel's. Every time I'm stressed out I go to her to talk about it. So that's what I'm doing right now.

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"Hey Rachel! I hope I don't bother you but I really want to talk to you about something." She looks confused but immediately says she wants to help so I tell her. "I'm going on a date tonight. And I'm pretty sure I'm very into this guy, but we have a great friendship and I don't wanna ruin it." She looks at me with a smile on her face. I don't understand why. But then she tells me: "I know you're going on a date with Erik. He called me this morning and said the exact same thing. He really loves you Colleen! You don't have to worry about that." My mind explodes... Did she just say he loves me? Erik Stocklin LOVES me?? I don't know why but I immediately start crying. I never thought I would find someone to love after what happened with Josh. But it's happening. It's happening right now. I feel so many emotions right now.
I thank my sister and I drive home. I'm so excited for this date. I really want to tell someone about it but my phone's battery just died. The only thing I have is my vlog camera. So I put it on my dashboard and start talking to my fans. They probably won't see this cause I don't think I'm gonna post this. But I just wanted to talk to someone. I start vlogging. Everything I say is true. I talk about how I really see a future with Erik and my dream to finally have children might come true aswell. I know it's our first date, but I feel like I've known him my whole life. He's very important to me. It turned out to be a very emotional video. I really opened up about my feelings towards him. I'm pretty sure I'm never posting this video.

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I'm all dressed up waiting for him to arrive. I'm so stressed out. I look at my watch and count down.
30 minutes
20 minutes
10 minutes
5 minutes
2 minutes
DING DONG
Omg he's here. I open the door and all my worries just flow away. I look into his eyes and it makes all the stress go away. He looks stunning. A black suit. And a little box. He mumbles something and opens the box. Cat-shaped chocolate. This man is unbelievable. I give him a big hug and we go inside. He says hi to Kory and the cats and then we leave. Our date officially has begun now. He takes me to a very nice restaurant and afterwards we go back to my place. I put my camera in the coffeetable and put it on. Just to make a timelapse of us watching Haters Back Off. We cuddle up next to each other and watch every episode. Oh no. This is the episode where Miranda and Patrick are gonna kiss. How would he react? Is he gonna laugh or is it gonna be awkward? I'm freaking out. He looks at me. Sh*t he noticed. He takes the remote and turns off the tv. He looks at me again. I know what's gonna happen. He comes closer to me. I feel his breath on my lips. And then his soft lips touch mine. My heart explodes... This is something I've never felt before... Not even with Joshua. I- I can't describe it... Our foreheads are still touching but we stopped kissing. I look into his eyes. And I see something. Love. I see the love in his eyes. The way he looks at me is unbelievable. We kiss again. And again. And again... Then I remebered something. My camera. It's still recording. Well I'm definitely not gonna post that. But I'll keep it on my laptop just because it's our special moment together.

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We start vlogging things to post now. We play with some dinosaur toys and play the ukulele. First he films me playing the uke and singing. After a while he tells me he wants to work on the hug song and he want to sing with me. So that's what we do. I feel myself staring at his lips while singing. He feels it too. That's where the vlog for my channel will end cause we made out for like 30 minutes. I ended my vlog and Erik and I went upstairs.

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I woke up the next morning with the love of my life smiling at me. This is the best feeling ever... But when I looked closely I saw something was wrong. Erik cried. I don't know what to think. He starts talking: "Colleen... I was looking for the timelapse you made yesterday but I found the video you recorded in your car. You said you see a future with me. A future together and you said you love me. And I have to tell you something. Colleen Mae Ballinger, I love you and I want a future with you. You're everything to me." I started crying again and told him I really love him.

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Erik just left, and I decided to edit the footage with him for my channel, but also the footage that we're not gonna show the fans yet. It's too soon. I'll just put the normal video of Erik and me as friends online and the real Erikleen video will be a private video. It's literally a video of us making out on a couch so maybe I'll never post it...