For the sake of a troubled youth

Chapter 6: Taking It Slow

Carla's POV

         Once he left, I went straight to shower and washed every inch of him off of me. I always block out the experiences I go through at Travis' hands. Ever since my mom died and I was left in his care, his whole fatherly façade just vanished. and he became just this beast in reality. my mom died seven years ago, when I was ten, each day that goes by, I miss her so much and I hate my life more and more. The old Carla died the same day my mom did. I was really a broken little girl.

         once I was out of the shower I walked out to the kitchen wrapped in a towel. memories of Sev and me at these very counters and what I almost let happen. it just felt good to be wanted and not be forced to be wanted, and not be forced too have to like it. I drank a cup a juice then headed back too my bedroom to get dressed. I walked by Travis' study not even realizing that he was there until he said "come here" I jumped a little but did as he said. I walked to his desk slowly, wrapping my arms around my chest; a sure sign of fear and weakness. he smirked at me, sensing that that I was indeed a little scared.

         "what's wrong?" he asked. his concern was half hearted; as if he really cared that there was anything wrong with me. I was more upset than anything. because no matter what he did or wanted, he'd get it or do it, and there's nothing I could do about it. he was either going to hit me, or rape me. or both. I wish he'd leave me alone. he could have any woman in the world, he's not physically an ugly man, and he's got money out of this world, yet he chooses to make me suffer. as if it weren't enough that I was forced too have sex, and act like I enjoyed it, with other men. He had to have his cake and eat it too.

         "Nothing, I'm fine" I said, answering his question. he glared at me, for so long I was wondering if he we going to do or say anything at all. But just as I was beginning to feel a little relief he shot it down. "take off your towel" he said and I fought the urge to cry. it was completely heart breaking a disgusting because I once thought of this man as my father figure. He seemed so nice, And truly caring, but it was his mask. underneath was an evil person.

"did you hear me! I said take. it. off."

"Travis...please I-"

"Carla, if I have to say it one more time... it's not going too be pretty"

         I did as he said and took off my towel. I looked away as he looked at me up and down. "come here" he said in a low husky voice. he patted his lap, gesturing for me to sit. in no time he rubbing and groping me like his life depended on it. I kept my eyes closed waiting for it to end, but it seemed to never end. he lifted me slightly and slid his pants down eagerly. He Squeezed my thighs as he went inside and I couldn't fight the tears. he moved my hips on him, grunting as he did. I waited and waited but time went on. He got tired of that position and moved me to his desk. I laid there limp as if I were dead. sometimes I wish I was.

         when he was done, he sent me on my way, and I headed back to the shower. after I decided to just go to bed. I cried myself to sleep, as I do every night. at school the next day I suddenly couldn't help but be aware of Sev. I seen him every passing period, he looked a little down. noticed that we shared the same sixth period. I sat way in the back and slept in here because the teacher never teaches. he tells us to read a chapter, answer the questions, and when the bell rings, he assigns a page for homework. He noticed me too, because he came and sat right next to me today.

"hey" i said awkwardly.

"what's up?"

"nothing"

"what's wrong? you look mad" he said, truly concerned.

"I'm fine" I said giving him a weak smile

"I could say the same about you? you don't look so hot yourself."

"Felicia cheated on me... and we broke up.."

"I'm sorry Sev... I don't know you all that well but I don't think anyone deserves that hurt."

"I ain't ever cheat on her. I always did what I could to please her and make her happy. always showing her my love and affection and this is what I get... women always talkin bout where the good men at... but where the good women at?!"

         "I really hate to be the Debbie downer here, but wasn't you just at my house....yesterday....with me....in the kitchen...and we almost-"

"Okay Okay! before that I never did. but I think that was destiney's way of getting back at her. who knows how long she's been cheating. and we didn't do anything. we almost did and I'm happy your dad showed up when he did. I don't want that hanging on my shoulders"

         that one kind of hurt. I wished Travis didn't show up when he did. I would have loved to have been with some one who wants to be with me for free, and me be with them in return because I want to, not because I have to.

"well you don't know how good you got it, to be able to decline sex..." I stopped myself quick before I gave up too much, but it think it was too much.

"what do you got like a sex addiction something?" he asked with a smile. I shook my head and smiled back. "its a little more complicated than that"

"then what is it? you always hinting about your life and how it's bad and troubled but you look and seem perfectly fine. and you never confide in any one."

"I don't need to bring anyone into my life's issues. it's only going to cause more problems...but let's talk about something else now okay?"

"yup... so what's up with you?"

"what do you mean?"

"I mean what's up... you got a boyfriend?"

I couldn't hold back my laugh. was he serious? "No Sevyn Johnson, I do not have a boyfriend"

"I like when you say my name like that." I rolled my eyes at him. "oh my gosh what ever" I laughed again.

"I'm serious. and you know they say if he can make you laugh he's a keeper And I made you laugh like four times in past thirty seconds."

         I laughed some more "no one says that. where did you hear it because its foreign to me...and I only laughed twice"

"well are we gon go out on a date, or not?"

"not. I don't know you Sevyn Johnson. you might be a serial killer"

"I might be. I also might be a nice guy... you never know."

"you're right. I never will know. I'm not even allowed to date"

"Why not? you're like grown"

"like grown is not the same as grown grown. just ask Tra- my dad"

"I will. let me meet him. today."

i gasped. "No! I'm afraid it can't work that way"

"Why not?"

"He would kill me if I brought you home!"

"because he don't know me yet. I bet he would love me. I got charm"

"no you don't!" I laughed. I would love to date Sev but I wouldn't risk it. he's actually nice and funny, and crazy for insisting on meeting Travis, but he obviously doesn't know Travis. just then the bell rang and I got up prepared to leave.

"can I walk you home again?" he asked with a wink.

i shook my head "no. last time you walked me home, we almost did something you would have regretted"

"Yeah, But the thing is if we 'almost' Do it again I won't regret it this time"

"let's just take it slow okay"

"how slow"

"you can walk me home once a week with no guarantee that you will be invited in?"

"hell no! that's way too slow! how about I walk you home every day, with no guarantee that I'll be invited in?"

I thought about it. "okay deal."