ZYCLE

NO. 3-To Dazzling Darkness (Fading Star)

Reita jolted awake and immediately sat up.

He felt terrible.

As the raven haired held his head he realized tears running down his cheeks. He let out a slight groan under his breath and swiped the salty drops away.

His whole body was shivering, he couldn't think clearly and stood sobbing and groaning up. His heart was racing like crazy, thundering against its cage wildly. Even though he was not able to see his way through the dizzying darkness, Reita somehow managed to stagger through his room to the door and open it.

Seemingly he fell asleep on his work table atop of some unfinshed sketches.

When did that happen?

He couldn't remember.

But something was different. Usually his body would just straight up deny him sleep, making it literally impossible for him to get any rest. But this time it were dreams that forced him back into consciousness. And this was even worse.

As soon as he got to the living room he stepped outside opening the glass doors to his tiny balcony. The deep black of the sky was already slowly blending into white clouds, the sun had no intention whatsoever of showing itself in the upcoming day apparently, and the stars on the dark side were also fading. Breathing in deeply he leaned against the railing and silently looked up to the sky for a while.

It had taken him so much time to finally let go, to repress what had happened, what he had been through. So why were they back?
Why was his mind torturing him with the memories he was desperately trying to forget.

The cool air managed to calm him down a bit, distracting his thoughts from his nightmare, so he returned inside again. A glance at the clock showed him, that it was only 4 in the morning. Sighing Reita turned around. He lit a cigarette, took a long drag and plonked himself down on the sofa, white smoke escaping through his slightly parted lips and dissolving into thin air.

He still had 5 hours till his first session.

He had no idea whether going to a psychiatrist would solve his "problem" or not, but he was certainly not looking forward to it. Mother thought it was the best way for him to find to a normal life again but he doubted that it would help. Nothing had every helped. So he naturally didn't get his hopes up.

To kill some time he switched on the TV and listlessly zapped through the channels. But since there was only trash screened at this time he turned it off again and made his way through the hallway to the kitchen.

Making a mug of instant coffee he sat down on the sofa back in the living room. The steaming cup in his right hand and the smoldering cigarette in his left one he stared at the clock above the little bookshelf on the wall in front of him and waited for the time to pass.

The empty beige mug and an ashtray full of short cigarette ends together with a sketchbook and several pens and pencils were decorating Reitas work table, when a knock on the door echoed throughout the apartment.

The raven haired slowly stood up walking to the door and opened it, reluctantly, because he knew exactly what was coming.

"Akira?! Why are you still in your sleep wear? I thought I told you that today is your first session with Dr. Takanori! Now, please hurry up and change into some decent clothes! I'll drop you at his office since its on my way to work".

At the unappreciated mention of his given name a deep sight left Reitas throat and he watched as the raven haired woman stepped unbiddenly inside and immediately continued complaining in the most nerve-wracking tone her voice could make. Reita closed the door and followed her into his living room.

"Why is your whole apartment such a mess, don't you ever tidy-up? And why are all the curtains drawn? It's way too dark here!", she said and made an attempt to push the curtains aside and open a window, but Reita stopped her by simply positioning himself in front of her. Ignoring her rambling he looked into her eyes and took a deep silent breath.

"Why did you come, mother? I could've gone there alone", he said slightly annoyed by the sudden disturbance in his quiet and calm morning routine, if one could speak of a routine all.

"I'm already here now...so stop complaining and move, we're going to be late! I'm waiting in the car", his mother easily ignored the question, and made her way outside through the hallway closing the door behind her. A long sigh of annoyance left the ravens lips, he frowned and turned around. He had no other choice.

Obeying her Reita changed into a simple black shirt and the first pants he could find and locked the door behind him after a muttered "I'll be back..." into the empty flat. Buttoning up his long black coat he rushed down the three flights of stepps.

It was dead silent. Only the occasionally ticking of the blinker and the sound of the raindrops on the windshield disturbed the silence. Reita closed his eyes for a second and was tempted to keep them shut, but could resist.

The uncomfortable silence between them was the usual and he was finally able to endure it without starting to feel weird, but this time his mother decide to break it: "I won't be able to drive you back, so make sure to call Kai, alright?"

"Hmhm," Reita made not really listening, he knew even without her saying it, that she wouldn't pick him up. It was a miracle that she was even driving him to the psychologist.

At exactly 9 o'clock he closed the door of the silver car and run into the building in order to avoid getting wet from the pouring rain. The secretary at the reception told him to wait for a while in the waiting room next door after she had checked his name and what else was necessary. With a nod towards the young lady, that told him that the doctor was unfortunately running late, he seated himself on one of the white chairs in the brightly lit room, which all in all seemed very clinical.

Reita did really not know what he got himself into and just wanted it to end quickly so he could return to his apartment and continue skeching. He didn't expect anything to really help. So far nothing had helped with his insomnia and he was not ready to try one more time just to fail again. And on top of that he now had to wait too. He was certainly not amused at all.

A voice threw Reita out of his thoughts and he looked up to the receptionist who called his name.
"Yes, thats me", he said the obvious, since he was the only one in the room and stood up and walked towards her.

"Please follow me, Dr. Takanori is ready to meet you," she said smiling and started to walk out of the room. Reita followed her down the hallway passing several other doors until she stopped.
"Just a second," she said and knocked on the door in front of them opening it ajar to tell the psychologist of Reitas arrival before she stepped aside and gestured him inside.

"Thanks", he said directing a small smile at her before he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

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I found this little story in my drafts today and thought why not post it?

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!